I hate the part of my disorder, where i suddenly have to hate everyone and isolate myself. I don't even hate myself, it is not a projected hate. But just disapointment and misplaced resentement. I've tried hard not to feel this way anymore, to detach myself from others, to not take anything from their behaviour personnaly. I am deteched and I am not selfcentered to this point, it's just that people are shit, they are, they have shitty lives, making them shitty people. What about me then? Am i shit with a shitty life? For sure I might feel shitty sometimes, and get frustrated with my life, but I try. I don't think I am any different from others, it is just that I can't help but percieve me in a different way than how I percieve others. I know I was being very judgemental, it is the resentment talking. Love is just as easy as Hate, maybe easier, but I don't know which one hurts more. Anyway, that is what I'm feeling right now, and I'm trying to stop controlling them, that only makes me dishonest.
Just wanna punch them in the face (just? lol), am visualizing it right now, it is not enough.