It´s only for your comfort, trust me.


„What the fuck do you mean they breached the candy frontier?”
“Sir, we can’t hold the sweets aisle any longer”

His father was born into this war, as was his grandfather. He can’t remember seeing anything else than vegetables on the floor. They were scattered there, like a grotesque reminiscence of the horrors that this conflict had brought. It all started when a can of German sauerkraut was thrown out of the shelf. By whom, no one can really tell. In the end, no one will really care. That is, if there will be an end.
After the Aisle 6 incident, the cabbages parted into factions, releasing thunder in the vegetable aisle. Sauerkraut against white cabbage, white cabbage fighting, in what the claim was defense. The red cabbage saw its opportunity to once again gain what was rightfully theirs, taken by the white cabbage hundreds of years ago. Every faction had a bill to settle.

“Sir, we need to retreat. The Würstel faction has joined the Sauerkraut.”

He held his head high up, facing the ever-glowing neon lights.

“Sergeant, have you ever seen the sky turn black?”

“No sir, can’t say I have, sir.”

“Me neither.”

He took the toothpick, which had pierced so many cabbages before and went away from the position they had held. His grandfather died there, his father did as well.

“I won’t.”

For as long as he could remember, he was lying there. Piercing every cabbage that tried to cross the line. Just as he was told by the men before him. But this war, it has gotten larger than him, not only involving cabbages but sausages and even eggs now. The causes of joining the war become more irrelevant with every action.

He looked down again, facing the storming groups of Sauerkraut and Würstel.

“This will end.”

He put up his toothpick, held it high into the air and threw it to his feet.
The line of Sauerkraut stopped. No one knew, what he just did. They were told to capture this position. But what if there was nothing to capture?

“I am going home”, he said, turning his back to the frontier.

With each step, he thought harder and harder what he desired. What he wanted to do first when arriving home. Maybe he would just go on a walk. Maybe he would have a drink. Maybe, he would rest.

A deep pain hit his back. He stopped. His breath began to shorten. He fell to his knees. As he was looking down, he saw the tip of a toothpick, sticking out of his rib cage. Looking up, he said:

“Well, how could I believe… to change… the life of a cabbage?”