My sister

When I was 5, I wanted to learn karate to protect my elder sister. That also didn't stop me from throwing sharp objects at her when we argued.

When I was 16, she went to college. One day she declared “It doesn't seem like we act like other siblings, I noticed. They are much more polite to each other. Maybe we should try to be nicer and start calling each other by real names”. That plan lasted for a whole day.

We don't do violence anymore, and conversations involve less calling each other stupid. But as fully functioning adults, we don't stick together because we were born in the same family. We stick together because we finally can stand each other.

Which is why outside of my inner circle including family and close friendships, other relationships upset me very much. When people keep throwing platitudes around “Family HAS TO love each other”, “You don't know how to SHOW empathy” “Helping others is a moral OBLIGATION”.

Isn't it the whole point of any relationship is the recognition of the others? But when you deny my agency, how much of it will be a performance?