Probably should have had a better attitude to people who seek help.
Surprisingly, I don't actually hate them all that much. That is, if they stay out of my interests. And I think people portray their idealization-devaluation cycle inaccurately when they throw the term love-bombing, as it's something intentional, when most of the time it's unconscious.
We have to go back to object relation. Since they can't see a person as both good and bad (no matter how nuanced their politics or personal values they swear to live by), when they meet a new person and want to pursue a relationship with them, they have to think this person is all worth the effort and with good attributes.
Which, I mean, we all expect people to meet our expectations. But when we have a more accurate assessment of ourselves, we would be more likely not to take those traits as negative in another person.
But then, situations arise when he wants to initiate contact with another attractive girl, and since he can't be shallow, that means she is the one with insane jealousy. When his gambling goes bad, and since he can't be irresponsible, that means it's the banking system's fault. I mean, both of his explanations can be true if we take it out of the context that he doesn't have a realistic view of himself.
And when it's constant evidence from someone else that they are not who they think they are, they have to devalue this person to prove that the person's opinions are inaccurate, or that person wants to harm them.
So, even when they say they have all integrity in the world, their behavior often leads them to do harmful things to other people, all the while thinking it's justified. And they can't have relationships more than superficial, because superficial relationships don't make you reflect.
The idealization-devaluation cycle often doesn't take longer than 2 months. When you think they do it intentionally, you would think the better solution for you is to be careful with enthusiastic gestures or not to be yourself. Which, by the way, makes people like me look extremely suspicious to most people.
But in my view, the faster way to weed out people who are incapable of whole object relations is just to be normal. Many people do it and succeed. While many don't. Some because they don't know better. Some because they, themselves, intentionally want to be seen as someone else.