So the more mature defenses are humor, sublimation and altruism. And I think I have always been doing just fine on my own. If anything better, it would be someone who listens.
Sounds simple enough? But that's exactly the problem.
If people can't do the coping well themselves, they can't bear it for another person. So they often dismiss it with rationalization “Don't worry, karma will come for him”, or moralization “You should forgive him, everyone has their problem”. Sorry but I don't buy any of those.
And if you want to double rationalize, it will be “People say those things because they care for you, you should feel better.” Yeah my heart doesn't function that way.
So it's constant dismissals, which leaves humor the only defense I display in public and even between friends. Because I would rather do things alone than receive inadequate support. And people see I'm funny, they tend not to investigate further if I have other emotions as well.
Unlike a narcissistic person, validation and affirmation do nothing for me. So even if I do achieve something, I feel good because I value the process or the outcome of making it.
If all the support I get is praises for my achievements or my look, along with moralization on how I should conform to some standard they don't even know why, I feel the relationship transactional, because it is. That's why I barely dated at all. For even if I wanted a transactional relationship, it seemed very much like I would get a very bad business deal anyway.
When an obsessive person feels bad on a day they don't work, it's often because they have critical parents and also because they are boring and have no hobbies. In your case, I know it's sublimation.