Letters for coaches, healers, and guides who are tired of performing awakening. No techniques. No personas. No spiritual theatre. Just presence.

ANTI-GURU LETTERS

Sacred Absurdity Dispatch No. 1

How To Stop Waiting for Someone to Teach You How To Be Yourself

By Bala

You’ve been trained to look up.

To wait for the teacher.
The guru.
The “one who knows.”
The woman whose voice is soft enough to make you think enlightenment is a scented candle.
The man who speaks slowly so you assume his thoughts are made of gold.

We all inherit this reflex:
The pilgrimage upward toward someone who supposedly carries the missing instruction manual for our soul.

But here is the unromantic truth:

No one knows.

Everyone is improvising.
Everyone is cobbling together meaning from half-remembered childhood pain, mild anxiety, and the weather.

The only difference between a “spiritual teacher” and the guy eating a meal deal outside Tesco at 8:47 AM is:

One of them narrates their confusion with confidence.

And charge VAT.

The Anti-Guru Stance

The Anti-Guru is the one who says:

“I don’t know either.
But I’m not afraid to say it honestly.
And I won’t pretend to have answers I don’t.”

No robes.
No lineage flexing.
No mystical theatre.

Just:

Presence without performance.

Why People Follow Gurus Anyway

Because responsibility is heavy.
And freedom is terrifying.

Other people telling us what to believe feels like safety.

But that’s not awakening.
That’s obedience wearing mala beads.

The Actual Inner Work (Not Sexy)

Everyone wants:

• Past-life insight
• Cosmic lovers
• Third-eye fireworks
• Ancestral portal activations

But real inner work is much simpler and far less cinematic:

Notice the precise moment you start lying to yourself.
Stop.
Then don’t lie again.
Repeat.
Forever.

No angels.
No dimensions.
Just honesty.

The most spiritually advanced thing most people could ever do is tell the truth once without flinching.

The Sacred Absurdity Practice

  1. Sit down.
    Spine awake.
    Nothing dramatic.

  2. Feel the body exactly as it is.
    No poetic metaphors.
    Just sensation.

  3. Notice the part of you that wants to perform being “spiritual.”

  4. Don’t indulge it.
    Don’t fight it.
    Just let the performance die without applause.

This is the practice.
It is not miraculous.
That’s why it works.

The Punchline

There is no higher version of you waiting to be unlocked.

There is only the you that appears when you stop performing.

You don’t need a guru for that.
You just need the courage to not look away from yourself.

And if you want company while you drop the costume, fine.

Come sit with us.

But do not come to be led.

Come to stop pretending you ever needed to be.

Stop outsourcing your soul.
Close the tabs.
Return to the body.
Speak from the place that speaks before thought.

Everything else is theatre.

And I am not here to act.

— Bala