like a personal journal to capture insights

Morning routine is kicking ass. Yoga is difficult but needed, it sets the tone for the day of pacing myself while still challenging myself. My meditation allows all sorts of thoughts to flow through me. My walk with music allows me to get my body moving and connect to some new tunes. From what I have been reading once abstinence is obtained, addiction is a cover-up for an intimacy disorder. It's so easy to try to play a role I think I should fill based on others expectations or expectations of myself that I almost forget to acknowledge what I like and don't like and to change accordingly. I saw an ad on a job board and I got so excited at the idea of the job because it contained community and purpose. This sense of purpose gave me a feeling that I had not felt in a long time. I am starting to believe that “not doing an addictive behavior” is not only just the start but also not the cure. Today I felt a spark of purpose and my recovery as felt naturally stronger than it has in a while without even really trying. In a previous post I mentioned that when starting out in recovery the only thing you need to change is everything and I am starting to see more of the everything.