like a personal journal to capture insights

My thought this morning was continued on intimacy. I feel as though sometimes I am living life at 75%. Wanting security and to be successful without having to go out and give 100%. When I mean give 100% I don't necessarily mean just effort but also 100% of myself. Staying true to myself and what I believe in and what interests me. Taking risks whether it be putting myself out there knowing I will make mistakes. I think many people can relate to this as many people have given 100% at some point in the past and been hurt or disappointed or failed. The problem with living at 75%, waiting for a secure and foreseen next step without much risk, is that the 25% missing is what the sparks of live are made of. The 25% starts to become day dreaming, yearning, or fantasies. I believe that if I want a fulfilling life sober, I will need to give 100% of myself, and for better or worse, at least it will be more exciting.