Non-Binary in Thedas
If you follow me on Mastodon, you’ll know that I’ve been playing a lot of Dragon Age: The Veilguard. That game has been on the receiving end of a lot of criticism, most of which seems centred around the character Taash and their gender identity.
Slight spoilers follow, up to Act 2.
Taash is a Qunari dragon hunter that the player character “Rook” recruits to the team to help with, well, dragon problems. When we first meet them they use she/her pronouns, but as you get to know them, they talk about not feeling like a woman or a man, and eventually they come to the realisation that they’re non-binary and switch to they/them pronouns.
Now, ignoring the frothing bigots who lose their shit over the mere existence of queer characters, even some otherwise liberal people have called out a couple of scenes as being “too much” or clunky writing.
The first is a conversation over dinner with Taash and their mother Shathann, where they come out as non-binary.
Taash: So…I’m non-binary
Shathann: What does that mean?
Taash: It means I don’t feel like a man or a woman.
Shathann: If you are neither a man or a woman, then what are you?
Taash: Non-binary. I just said. And I’m going to use “they” instead of “she” from now on.
Shathann: If this is because I have criticised your dress or your manners…
Taash: It isn’t.
Shathann: Under the Qun, the term for one whose gender does not match the one given to them at birth is “Aqun-Athlok”. Perhaps you are like that.
Taash: Why do you have to keep picking at it? Why can’t you be happy for me?
I’ve seen people describe Taash as petulant in this scene, and also take umbrage that they don’t accept the Qunari term “Aqun-Athlok” preferring the identity “non-binary” instead.
The use of modern terms in Veilguard is a common issue among those who want their fantasy to be more medieval or less related to this-world identity and language. But I think it’s important to use the term non-binary here.
A trans Rook uses the term “trans” to refer to themself as well, in a scene that brought me to tears as I played it with my beloved non-binary transfem lesbian tomboy Rook. These words matter. They are our words to describe ourselves. As a non-binary trans woman myself, it’s incredibly powerful to not only see trans and non-binary characters in a fantasy game, but to actually hear them use those words instead of a fantasy alternative which removes us from reality.
I think Taash’s rejection of the Qunari term is less a language issue and more one we as queer people face often – the difference between labels we choose for ourselves and those that other people try to force upon us. How many trans people have been told we’re “really” something other than who and what we are?
I applaud the writers for creating a scene that felt tense and awkward, but believably so, and for daring to put current gender terminology into the game. Fantasy does not have to mean dated, medieval language and worldview. It can evolve as a genre, and characters like Taash can evolve as people.
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The second scene I’d like to mention is the now-infamous “pulling a Bharv” scene, where Taash, Rook, and the characters Bellara and Isabela are having a drink in a tavern. Isabela is relating a story of Taash’s adventures and at one point, misgenders them by using “she” instead of “they”. Isabela then does ten pushups, which she calls “pulling a Bharv” – a tradition among the mercenary Lords of Fortune group she and Taash are members of, as a way of apologising.
When asked about this, and why not just apologise, Isabela says this:
Isabela: Sometimes people say “oops sorry” and hope that fixes it, but they just want to get the whole thing over with. Trust me, I know.
Bellara asks what if the person apologising really means it?
Isabela: And that’s the other reason. Sometimes people mess up and get all dramatic. They make it about them. “Oh, you know I didn’t mean it, right? I’d never do that on purpose!” They feel so bad about it that it’s on everyone else to smooth it over and make them feel better”.
This is such an important bit of dialogue, and a great lesson to learn. Now, do I want people to pull a Bharv when they misgender me? Not really, although it would be funny to watch them try. But it’s a good illustration that simply saying sorry and not making the effort to change your actions is not enough.
I think most of us trans people have experienced the other thing too, where people make their apology all about them, how hard it is for them, how much they’re trying, and how you must forgive them. Which places the onus back on the person they’ve just misgendered to comfort them. It’s a power play, designed consciously or otherwise to reinforce the social hierarcy that puts cis people’s feelings as more important than trans identities.
I think this scene, which has been called over the top and typically “forcing” an “ideology” on players, is so wonderful and much needed. I wish people looked at the point of the scene, not the literal idea of doing push-ups to apologise, but to learn to a) apologise for misgendering someone and b) not make it all about you.
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There’s a lot of other wonderful points of inclusion in Veilguard, queer characters just living their lives and being normal people, and it creates a game where I as a trans gamer can feel safe, seen, and respected. It says that people like us can be heroes. That we can be loved.
But these two scenes loom large in critiques of the game, and I wanted to highlight them as they are, in my opinion, both excellent and sensitively handled.
While there is a frankly terrifying right-wing backlash against the LGBTQ+ community, things like this give me hope, that we can build a world where inclusivity is the norm.