It's been a long time coming. I have always known that God gifted me with the ability to write (amongst other talents) but I am not sure I always knew how to use it. The last attempt at this blog thing wasn't a flop but I was still left feeling.. unfulfilled. I never struggled with what to write about because I can turn a trip to Starbucks into a full length feature film moment but it just never.. “hit” for me. When you know you have a God given talent and you attempt to use it but it feels off, it can get draining. It can get so draining that you slip into mood swings and changes while you attempt to “find yourself”. If you carry it too long then you wake up in full blown depression. If you fester there.. oh, it gets real real dark and the next thing you know, full isolation and you are consumed with dark thoughts. We have arrived at, suic- yea.
Gifts can be a blessing or a curse depending on how you look at em and if we are being all the way real here, until you operate out of obedience with yours then you will always feel like you are running on a hamster wheel. Notice I didn't say you would go without, because if you are really talented oh you are gonna get to that bag. I mean, I was a content creator with no help from any established creators landing brand deals and collabs. I was creating contracts and negotiating my worth all without experience but.. it was working! I was making money. For a minute. But I was never ever fulfilled. I had that “something is missing” nagging thought all day and all night. Sidenote- Yall do know that the devil gives gifts too right? Oh yea. He can give you a car, house, status etc. not sure we are ready to go that deep though. I don't wanna run yall off lol. I am a happy wife, a mom to 5 handsome boys and now in my mid 30's I am finally where I am supposed to be. Should it have taken me this long? Nope. Do I mind that it did? Nope. I am happy to be here and still have my gift. Did you know your gifts can be taken away? Sure can. I have lost a few but.. there will be time for that later.
For now, grab a cozy throw blanket, your favorite drink and warmest socks. It's story time again.
Welcome back to my Blog.