It never felt right tbh
My name is W1tN3ss (code for Witness). I have mostly observed in my life and stated in a non-boastful manner -I am a good observer.
I notice.
I notice everything.
I notice micro-reactions.
I have been this way since I was a pre-teen (now in my 50’s). As a pre teen, I once watched my neighbor repair his car from my bedroom window. I had a notepad and pen in hand, jotting my observations. I just absorbed the moment to see what details I could gather. I own a ton of journals and books, writing was always a part of me.
I am of South Asian Indian decent but born and raised in the United States. This particular community was heavily influenced by Christianity; specifically going back to when St Thomas arrived to India. This form of Christianity was strict, more notably connected to Pentecostal Christianity. The franchise was transferred to the US. I had a difficult time with the US franchise version of this religion. It was suffocating.
Most of the youth in this church felt the same way.
what made it difficult?
• I wasn’t allowed to speak to the other female parishioners -not even in a friendly manner.
• there was no practical approaches to everyday matters outside of
“Pray About It” & “Read the Bible”
• I was verbally abused. One cultural aspect of being Indian was that we respected our elders and to a fault. Accepting their opinions, albeit in many cases, were not ill intended.
Praying was meditation and the Bible had many great learning lessons, but this and the whole experience had me yearning for more in my life.