WastingWeekends

The Eurovision Song Contest began decades ago. As a west-coast dwelling American, I never paid it much attention until 2023, when Kaarija’s Cha-Cha-Cha appeared on my TikTok feed. Aligned with my other musical interests, I became invested in him winning as I tend to favor underdogs. He did not win.
Come 2024, I had finally called it quits with my on-again, off-again boyfriend at the time and suddenly became invested in Croatia’s Baby Lasagna. His vocal improvements from the national finals to the grand final were outstanding, and I came to know that I love anything that actually uses “real” instruments (I’m a pretentious failed musician if you must know).
Baby Lasagna did not win.
Come 2025. Now I’m INTENSELY following this damn thing. And yes, it falls in line with another breakup I must distract myself from, but that’s for a different post. I fell ill this week and took one of my sick days to watch the first semi-final. I was on the edge of my seat with those announcements! Since February, I have been rooting for Lithuania’s Katarsis with their “emo” and “depressing” song Tavo Akys, as the fans say. Typical My Chemical Romance enjoyer behavior from yours truly. Luckily at their semi-final, they were the first qualifier announced at their semi-final and I was ecstatic. I paid five euros to vote for them – didn’t take the full maximum of 20 votes because, well, we can’t get too crazy. Here’s hoping for tomorrow’s Grand Final that they place well, since I know from being burned the last two times that a mediocre pop song that would chart at #76 with Billboard in the U.S. is going to take the crown.
And that exactly is what I found so interesting about Eurovision – the commentary and how different the European perspective is. I was over the moon that Lithuania’s full-fledged band qualified because it was so deserved – their lead singer had flawless vocals. Not a single missed note. I know they are forced to mimic playing their instruments but holy hell it’s just a damn good song! When I began to read comments from the community regarding reactions to qualifiers, I was a bit shocked.
From the first semi-final I read, “Belgium was robbed!” Belgium’s entry this year is a techno-inspired track from artist Red Sebastian with plenty of high notes and overbearing staging. Like, literally, everything is red. His performance overall seemed okay, but the song never stuck out to me. I also noted that the lyrics were very low-hanging fruit. “Silence never felt so loud” is the best we could…do? At least with the varying languages non-speakers don’t know if you’re talking bullshit or not. Lyrics in English, American-originated or not, are often lazy and painfully transparent.
The most shocking was reading the same “robbed” language when referring to Czechia’s entry, Kiss Kiss Goodbye by ADONXS. Yes, the studio version, vocally, was okay. Once again Taylor Swift levels of music to me…low Billboard vibes…but the performance had glaring mistakes. There was a missed cue during the refrain where the singer rushed the first line of the chorus, and it was painfully obvious to anyone watching. There was also a voice crack in an earlier part of the song and an out-of-place dance break, but there the fans go again with “he was robbed, how did Lithuania get in!”
Once again, not to be a crazed fan but Lithuania’s entry was technically flawless. Even if one doesn’t like the genre, they at least have that.
Americans, or at least American music enthusiasts, like things that are different. I think Europe does better when they don’t give a fuck about us. Perhaps this wasn’t the intention, but trying to mimic traditional American pop songs falls flat. This is regardless of annunciation or accents – it has everything to do with word choice. From Kiss Kiss Goodbye – In a moment two of us collide, there’s no other place to hide. Once again, is this the best we could do? I would say the same about Lady Gaga’s Abacadabra – “feel the beat under your feet, the floor’s on fire” like…girl. The music nerds I know love a good foreign language tune with a good beat, maybe a couple English words so we know what’s going on. The irony in all this is that trying to appeal to a global audience, or maybe in trying to chase the “U.S.” sound, some entries lose the edge that makes Eurovision, or even European-grown music, feel special. Everyone likes some good homegrown chaos. That’s why American pop-punk is such a hit AND a meme – every artist is bitching about their hometown.
Maybe Europe is the same! They view these pop entries as fun and interesting, but they just don’t fit that sliver of taste in the Venn diagram.
In conclusion, not that American opinion matters in a European song contest, or on the world scale given we are a joke these days…but ever since my ventures into Ethiopian jazz, German rap, and Ukrainian funk…I want to hear something authentic, preferably without vocal falter.