weepingwillow

Music can make you want to stay. Music can also hasten your retreat from the world with words and energy that feeds that beast in ways nothing else can.
I avoid that music whenever I can. I know what it does to that part of my brain. It makes it brave and carless.
I try to gravitate to the music that puts my energy in places that keep me motivated and safe.
The thing is now my body can't keep up with the energy it gives me. So my mind is free but my body is not.
I'm not a strong human. The loss of freedom of movement has given me grief I don't know how to comprehend. Still, the pain I receive from working with a broken body and mind is temporarily numbed by the music that gives me the energy I crave. For now.

The dream still remains a vivid reality for me. I don't think that will ever change.
Until it does.

I am currently listening to The Faint- Wet From Birth.