Ramblings about tech and freedom

RFC: Connection Protocol for Human Unicode

Author: [eab@nvcdojo.org]
Date: 2024-11-24
Version: 0.434a trollheim

Abstract

When I see that technology lacks a framework to express empathy effectively in written communication, I am curious. I value tools that support understanding and collaboration and offer this document in service of hope and contribution.

This RFC (Request for Comments—a type of publication from the principal technical development and standards-setting bodies for the Internet) proposes a standardised syntax for embedding Nonviolent Communication (NVC) into text-based chat protocols, such as IRC, Signal, or other messaging systems. There are a number of purposes in this RFC:
– to develop shared meaning and clarity regarding emoji,
– to support users in expressing observations, feelings, needs,
– to support a culture of well-formed requests,
– to support conditions where world peace can spontaneously emerge.

It is also anticipated that this RFC will support reduced miscommunication and enable error checking (a design feature lacking from normative human communication). The syntax consists of structured annotations that can be interpreted both by humans and automated systems.

The framework builds on the foundational work of Marshall Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communication) and Manfred Max-Neef (Human Scale Development), incorporating universal human needs and their connections to well-being.

Emoji Use in NVC Syntax

When I notice that emoji are often used inconsistently in online communication,[clarity,flow]🤔 I feel motivated and curious because I value alignment between words and visuals. Emoji in this framework serve as visual representations of feelings, enhancing clarity and emotional nuance in text-based communication. To ensure consistency:
– Emoji may represent a feeling explicitly. to avoid redundancy or contradiction. For example, 😤 represents 'I feel frustration because I', so the sentence need not also state “I feel frustrated because I”.
– Emoji be optional. While they enrich expression, the syntax remains functional without them.

Syntax Specification

Structure

observation(s)[need(s)]feeling(s); message

Formal Syntax (ABNF)

I observe that developers need precise guidelines for implementation,[precision]😌. The following ABNF (Augmented Backus-Naur Form) defines the NVC syntax:

#+BEGIN_SRC text
nvc-message = [observations] "[" needs "]" feelings ";" SP message
observations = 1*(CHAR) [ "." SP 1*(CHAR) ]
needs       = need *("," need)
feelings    = feeling *("," feeling)
need        = 1*(ALPHA / "-")
feeling     = 1*(ALPHA / "-")
message     = 1*(CHAR)
CHAR        = %x20-7E
SP          = %x20 ; Space
#+END_SRC

Summary: Removing Blame with “I Feel X Because I...”

When I notice that many conversations online include blame and escalate conflict[harmony]😞. NVC emphasises that feelings arise from our own needs, not others' actions. Using the structure, “I feel X because I...” helps us avoid blaming others and instead express our needs clearly. For example:

Example Messages

Jackal in the Room:

When I see that the jackal is sitting in the meeting and grinning at my frustration,[inclusion]😤 Would you be willing to share what’s going on for you, or am I better off assuming you’ve already judged me 10 different ways?

Singing Humor:

When I hear you singing loudly during a work call,[joy]😊 Would you be open to sharing your setlist? I’d love to join in, though I should warn you, my singing might scare off clients.

Seeking Understanding:

When I see that the deadline has passed and the report hasn’t been submitted,[understanding]🤔 Would you be willing to share what might have prevented it from being sent? If it’s procrastination, I promise I won’t judge—I’ve been there myself!

Making a Well-Formed Request:

When I see that our calls often run 20 minutes over time,[consideration]😤 Would you be willing to co-create a plan to honor the schedule? I wonder if reframing it as "creative brainstorming time" might even inspire us to bring snacks.

Well-Formed Requests

A well-formed request is:
– Specific: Clearly states what is being requested.
– Actionable: Refers to concrete actions the other person can take.
– Optional: A request is not a demand, it must allow for choice.
-Timebound: Specify when.
-Curious: Inviting collaboration and open to mutuality.

Poor request:

You never listen to me!

Better-formed request:

When I see that you interrupted me,[respect]😞 Would you be willing to wait until I’ve finished speaking before responding? Unless it’s about chocolate, then feel free to interrupt.

Even-Better-formed, maybe even Well-Formed request:

When I hear you begin to speak whilst I am speaking,[respect]😞 might it be possible that next time you wish to speak, you raise your hand to let me know? Unless it’s about chocolate, then feel free to interrupt.

Implementation Guidelines

The syntax can be manually adopted by users or integrated into chat clients. This section outlines best practices for both manual and automated use.

Manual Use

Users are encouraged to:
– Include 1–3 observations where context is relevant.
– Preface observations with “When I see that” if it clarifies the message.
– Keep observations neutral and minimize judgment.
– Make well-formed requests to foster actionable outcomes.

Automation

Chat clients may implement the following features:
1. Syntax Highlighting: Display observations, needs, and feelings in distinct styles for improved readability.
2. Autocomplete: Provide suggestions for needs, feelings, and corresponding symbols as the user types.
3. Filters: Allow users to filter or prioritize messages based on specific needs or feelings.

Security Considerations

The proposed syntax does not introduce significant security risks. However, the following considerations should be addressed:
1. Privacy: Users expressing sensitive emotions may be vulnerable to exploitation. Ensure secure transmission and storage of messages.
2. Misuse: Automated processing of NVC messages could lead to misuse, such as sentiment profiling. Developers must implement safeguards against such practices.

IANA Considerations

This document does not require any IANA actions.

Proposed Feelings-Symbols List

Feeling Symbol Code Description Needs Met/Unmet
Sad 😢 Feeling down or sorrowful Unmet
Curious 🤔 Seeking clarity or information Unmet
Happy 😊 Feeling content or joyful Met
Frustrated 😤 Experiencing annoyance or anger Unmet
Anxious 😰 Feeling nervous or uneasy Unmet
Grateful 🙏 Appreciative and thankful Met
Content 😌 Calm and satisfied Met
Disappointed 😞 Experiencing letdown Unmet

References