therapy, therapy
(sorry about my absence; it's been a strange and busy month)
i'm officially in therapy.
i had my first session yesterday afternoon and it was wonderful.
j. was great; she was engaging and attentive.
(and although i was terrified
i didn't feel like i was talking to a teacher that had forced me to spill the beans because i'd done something wrong.
i didn't vanish when she asked me (deeply) personal stuff.
i didn't lie—because i didn't feel like a wounded deer in an open field.
i didn't do so many of the things i am used to doing in order to protect myself from people.
gah,
it felt good.
it felt the way therapy is supposed to feel like, even though i've never been in therapy (that one time doesn't count) and have no idea of what it's supposed to feel like. (if that makes any sense at all!)
i'm excited.
i'm hopeful.
she's kind.
the price of it is worth it.
i'm really happy i didn't give up.
(on myself
on my healing
on my search
on my future)
godspeed.
c. w.