Dissolving into Moonlight
The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope.
Tonight’s moon dwarfs yesterday’s in brilliance and majesty. I knew it would from is glowing orange at the rise of the orb. Now at midnight already it is a glowing spotlight 239,000 miles from home.
Its focus is on the choir of crickets and frogs who are busy with the work of a summer nights soundtrack. Joining the orchestra tonight is a gentle breeze rustling the leaves and the sunflower stalks in the dark.
Something rustles in the overgrown grass next to the porch. Some nocturnal rodent—a rabbit perhaps, or a possum. The cat would find out but she is too lazy to prowl as she once did.
The mystery of the dark has always thrilled and charged me. With so little unknown in the world after half a century, I love the idea that there in this twilight, exists the unseen—the unknown. As a child this would terrify me, as an adult it invites exploration.
And so I find myself on a midnight hike through the tall grass of the field behind my home. The terrain is uneven and tricky at times. But I am still nimble enough and the moonlight brilliant enough so as to avoid taking a fall.
I’ve made my way to the edge of the pond on the old golf course. It’s truly stunning in this glow and I am transported through time to 4 decades ago when I was a nascent teen—this golf course was new and manicured. Somewhere to my left is the old green where I lay with Christy—the girl next door—while we told stories, stargazed and feared who we were becoming.
Everything felt so safe then. At least in hindsight I see how comfortable and simple life was. I remember in the moment of those days feeling constant upset and uncertainty. The real fear was not who I was to become, but who I was.
All of my childhood friends have dissolved into life. Some are in jail, some are dead. Most, I have no idea. Probably a million miles from here—
I feel a sudden urge to be able to take flight and go anywhere in the world tonight. To streak through the universe on a quest to be anywhere. I would fly over the Grand Canyon, through mountain passes, and past the Eiffel Tower, spending the night atop the great pyramid in Giza. All before a hearty breakfast in Rome.
But mostly, I’d see those moss most—at least those I can. Surprise them with a knock at the door and half an hour of shocked joy before slipping away to the next flight and round of smiles and laughter.
But, my recollections and desires leave me firmly attached to the earth and i decide it is time for bed. So I make my way back to the house where the comfort of a bed and a good nights sleep await.
As I lay here tip tapping these notes, a phrase keeps rattling in my head:
‘Good night, sweet prince!’
Bon soir! Until tomorrow brings more adventure.
#childhood #essay #memoir #journal #osxs #100daystooffset #writing
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Thank you for coming here and walking through the garden of my mind. No day is as brilliant in its moment as it is gilded in memory. Embrace your experience and relish gorgeous recollection.
Into every life a little light will shine. Thank you for being my luminance in whatever capacity you may. Shine on, you brilliant souls!
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