Field Notes from the Corners of a Monday Morning Mind
Firesides are for lovers and friends.
The day started early and after a poor night’s sleep. I managed to sleep crossways and pin my arm so that it was completely numb, waking me at 5.
I made the most of the early morning and got some writing done. It feels good to find a creative foothold again. I’m worrying less about life, the universe and everything.
It feels a little like the old me.
Close Call
I arrived to meet with friends later in the morning and a fellow named Clarence I’ve grown close to was feeling off. A longtime time friend who is a former firefighter noticed some asymmetry in Clarence’s face and movements. And so convinced him to go to the ER where they identified that he has suffered a stroke. He’s a great big powerful old bodybuilder who drove a cement truck for about 30 years. So he’s used to powering through things. That’s why he carried on for 3 days before going to the ER!!
He is admitted and being observed. I’m sure my wife and her sister are melting down a little. They are both concerned that’s in my future.
I hope he’s going to be okay. When I met him he was quiet and fragile emotionally, having felt very mistreated through his life. But like any abuse creature, patience and kindness gave him the confidence that not everyone is out to get him and over the course of five or six years he finally started coming out of his shell.
Today, he’s not an extrovert, but it’s a real joy to see him out all week long laughing and volunteering with other friends. It’s amazing what a powerful thing finding one’s confidence can be.
Convention
I heard some friends were able to attend their annual spiritual convention over the weekend. It’s very exciting to get the chance to attend. I lost touch with them, so haven’t heard what they thought, but it’s been refreshing to think back to our own attendance just last month.
One of the real joys in the year is talking about what we learned with one another. I know personally it was extremely challenging this year in a way I’ve never experienced before—but I’ve had some especially unique circumstances—I can’t imagine theirs was anything but as motivational and refreshing as they always are.
I wrote a series of poems about what it feels like to attend these events:
Tomorrow, The Glow: Pre-convention eagerness
First Light, Holy Light: A meditation on the early morning and longing
Festival of Renewal: the feeling of the post-program glow
Jobsearch
Our weekend didn’t give us the chance to see the new Superman movie. Hoping to find time today or tomorrow for that. I have a few job applications to follow up on this morning in the quest to make a living. The most promising is the. tv station gig. I think I’ve resolved that it’s a good doorway. If I can land it, it’ll be good experience to trade into something better in a larger market. I’m of the new opinion that my skill set just doesn’t have the appeal once did. Employers can find me younger and cheaper.
I want to regret my decisions. But, I’ve always put God first and that HAS to account for something. As a friend once said, ‘He never has, or will, fail you, Brother Mine.’
That’s such an encouraging thought. How quickly we forget our own value in the eyes of our Father.
🙄
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Dumb things I overheard today:
‘Young men and women who are less attractive and less physically capable have an easier time serving God because they don’t have anything else.’
‘He won’t change no matter how many times I tell him. I don’t know what to do. I guess it is what it is. But one thing for certain: he’s the problem.’
‘Well it may be that the less you have, the easier life is. But that seems like a missed opportunity… why not grab all I can?’
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Tonight
Enjoying amazing stuffed bell peppers and asparagus while we watch the 40th anniversary of Live Aid (1985). I joke we are old enough to be able to convincingly argue we were there 49 years ago!
Queen just roused us with a thrilling rendition of Radio Gaga and Bowie a wild edition of Hero’s.
We’re chilling now to ‘this is the sound of my soooooouuuuuul’ Spandau Ballet stepped up with velvet sincerity, wrapping the crowd in ‘True.’ To be followed by Joan Baez and Elvis Costello! And now—Phil Collins: Against All Odds.
There is good music still being made, but 40-50 years ago was a real golden age!
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She longed for him like the trees long for wind. To make them strong and to serenade the creatures of the forest. Every day he was her first thought and though not her only thought through the day, he was there with the frequency of the wind.
Behind the soft armor of charm, she was somewhere else entirely.
A secret garden, locked from the world, with his name carved into every tree. No one noticed. They never did.
How did he make her feel?
Seen. Truly seen. As if her soul had a shape that only he could trace. He, who wanted her thoughts, her cleverness, her edges and silhouette. To embrace her mind when others looked away.
— I love the metaphor here.
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Oh! Reader mine! There’s SO much I want to say— but the brilliant moon is low in the horizon out this window and sleep is starting to reclaim my weary mind. I pray today’s sunrise brings you blessings and peace. My heart is with you to succeed in finding peace and contentment.
May you have the day you need and deserve.
Love always,
Charlie
To Build A Home – The Cinematic Orchestra
There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home
'Cause, I built a home
For you
For me
Until it disappeared
From me
From you
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it's knees
By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
And, I built a home
For you
For me
Until it disappeared
From me
From you
And now, it's time
To leave and turn
To dust
You think your days are uneventful
And no one ever thinks about you
She goes her own way
She goes her own way
You think your days are ordinary
And no one ever thinks about you
But we're all the same
And she can hardly breathe without you
She says she has no time for you now
She says she has no time
Think about the lonely people
And think about the day she found you
Or lie to yourself
And see it all dissolve around you
She says she has no time for you now
She says she has no time
Lonely people tumble downwards
My heart opens up to you
When she says she has no time for you now
She says she has no time
#reflection #essay #memoir #journal #osxs #100daystooffset #writing
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Thank you for coming here and walking through the garden of my mind. No day is as brilliant in its moment as it is gilded in memory. Embrace your experience and relish gorgeous recollection.
Into every life a little light will shine. Thank you for being my luminance in whatever capacity you may. Shine on, you brilliant souls!
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