Good News!!
The life of a fleshly organism is a calm heart.
The CT scan of my heart shows no out-of-range abnormalities! That means yes, my arteries have some plaque, but nothing outside of what the average person of my sex and age has. So, no heart surgery!
At least it doesn't look like I need heart surgery... the echocardiogram tomorrow afternoon will hopefully confirm that early diagnosis. Probably just more drugs.
I always worry.
But one should with a BP of 170/105!!
Another funny thing happened at the doctor today: I realized I REALLY enjoy talking to intelligent people! Now, I don't mean to denigrate my circle of friends, because they are all intelligent in their own ways... street smarts are a real thing... BUT—to speak with someone educated and well-read and traveled is simply a marvel.
I've known this for a long time, but it is something I forgot. As I've become increasingly cut off from my old avenues of communication via work and other relationships, I find myself surrounded by a group of men and women for whom books are a luxury at best and rarely or never read at worst.
Uhg... that sounds snobbish to read, I know. Am I hopelessly middle-class? I doubt it. Hopelessly white trash is more like it—with aspirations for something greater.
In hindsight, I should have been an engineer.
Who am I kidding? I don't have the patience or the attention to detail for an engineer. What I really need is a patron.
But art is such a misunderstood endeavor. Like almost anything else, it is packaged and commodified and turned into a profit center or it's a pointless waste of time.
Like all things, greed has ruined art.
Speaking of the commodification of art... I had a first call with a television production team here locally. The pay is dismal and it locks me into a 9-5, but the stress levels will be good for me. I haven't decided yet if it is something I want to try, but it its a confirmed income, which is creating a tremendous amount of pressure.
So, we'll see. I'm going to take the week and mull it over.
I'm suddenly and egregiously aware of how poor my financial decisions have been the last 20 years. :-o
But, life's a journey, right? Maybe having a regular job with scheduled vacations and lower levels of responsibility will mean I can be a human again.
And it's entirely possible that the psychological benefits will far outweigh the lower wage.
Silver linings.
I think a late-night movie might be in order!
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Thank you for coming here and walking through the garden of my mind. No day is as brilliant in its moment as it is gilded in memory. Embrace your experience and relish gorgeous recollection.
Into every life a little light will shine. Thank you for being my luminance in whatever capacity you may. Shine on, you brilliant souls!
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