Illumination
I don’t sit with my feet up often. But I am tonight. Since we are on death watch, my role as moral-supporting-inflatable-husband is to follow her around and just be present.
I should be doing more, but it’s just not in me. I’ve been shiny-happy-guy for decades and I’m tired of the role. Who shepherds the shepherd?
So I find myself reluctantly a wallflower at my MILs while she and the relatives do relative stuff.
Feet up.
So I’m sitting and thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Thinking.
Seems like a good time to write. Or listen to music and journal and sketch.
This quote drifted into my mind as I heard the girls going on about the life led by my wife’s father.
‘Your wound is the place where the light enters you’
It doesn’t seem that the visits to Disney land or the work we do really have much impact at that end. Though they are certainly required to keep our sanity and happiness in life.
Tonight, it strikes me that it is the obstacles overcome, the bones healed, the wounds tended that make us heroes. We love Spider-Man not because he wins but because Peter Parker always gets kicked when he’s down.
Maybe that's why I've been fine with developing patience in EVERY aspect of my life. The older one gets, the more patience is required. The inverse of what I expected, I think. Patience with her. Patience with all.
The arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward good.
So, I decide: the rent in me, my heart, my soul. Quite literally is a light source. Shine into me and fill me with life. Fill me with love.
Love makes us strong. Loss makes us superhuman.
#essay #poetry #osxs #confession #100DaysToOffload #Writing
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Thank you for coming here and walking through the garden of my mind. No day is as brilliant in its moment as it is gilded in memory. Embrace your experience and relish gorgeous recollection.
Into every life a little light will shine. Thank you for being my luminance in whatever capacity you may. Shine on, you brilliant souls!
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