Into Every Life Should Fall
a little nihilism
I recall an argument I had with my lovely wife many years ago regarding a painting I had done. In the painting, a man prayed desperately to the heavens, arms splayed and back arched. He was angry over his unfulfilled dreams which were represented by burned matchsticks that populated the background like burned out tree trunks.
I thought it was quite fetching. And it expressed the angst I felt in my late 20's as I felt like I failed time and time again. Looking back, I realized I wasn't failing, I was learning. Part of learning is false starts, getting it wrong and correction.
She thought it was ugly and negative. Which is a common complaint her darling personality seizes upon. She's generally a pretty happy persona and always bothers her if I represent us in a negative light. An argument I understand today, a quarter of a century later, in a way that I could not then. I still struggle with a negative way of thinking and self-perception however.
Hence the title.
I don't know why. Life is pretty damn good. I'm happy, or at least have a million reasons to be happy. I can travel (thought I don't) and have managed to live the life I dreamed of living. Admittedly it is sans the chalet in the alps and the beach house... and as an artist and writer, people aren't throwing money at me... but other than that, life's pretty good.
But we're living in a world full of pressure that wants each one of us to focus on the darkest possible timeline instead of all of the marvels in our lives and the universe. Not to mention the incredible people we all know. Even the odd ones are just a delight of difference.
So, dear reader, seize the fish and suck the marrow from each day. Be the knife and the bread. The goblet and the wine. And keep reminding yourself when you slip in to nihilistic thinking that: everything will be okay in the end. IF it isn't okay, it's not the end.
Oh, wondering about the painting? Sorry, it met a violent death.
Discuss...
