Not So Much To Say Now, Huh?
Doldrums: A period of stagnation or slump
For a guy with so much to say, surprisingly few people have asked me, 'do you ever shut up?' In fact, no one has ever said that too me. Not even my wife.
'SHUT UP!' yes, but never an intimation that I should think twice and speak once.
And yet, I never run out of things to say. Even in the darkest moments of my life, I can always scrape out some drip of wisdom that I remember from somewhere.
Where is that now?
I'm facing a personal crisis. While the manifestation of this crisis (which shall remain vague to protect the guilty) is sudden and shocking, the ramp-up to is was anything but. If I'm completely honest with myself, which I am not often, it has probably been building for decades. If not my entire life.
So, when these crisis points come in life, everything looks like it will always be this way and you can't see the way forward. I wonder what the psychological explanation is for that. Myopia of some kind maybe? Panic or fear? Probably stress. Stress drives us to do some crazy things. And think even crazier stuff. Like, life is over and you will never see daylight again.
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking six feet ain't so far down, to borrow a quote from One Last Breath byCreed.
One one hand, you have human desire. And it's impossible to tame that pattern of thinking that makes us want to be selfish. Like a wild grass, it can be pruned and pruned and pruned, but it will always come back. You can even plow the field of your mind and rake it all out, but somehow, imperfect life finds a way. A little time and it is overgrown with wrong-think.
Sometimes, I feel like it would just be a better life to give in and float down the river of live at the whim of the current.
But on the other hand, you have: doing what's right. Though this is the harder of the two choices we can make, the dividends benefit everyone we touch. Every laugh, every tear, every sigh, every poem... everyone. They are all made better when we're doing the right, good thing.
I don't know how to make it any easier. I thought in middle age that struggling for decades to do right, it would get easier. But, I'll be damned if it isn't harder than ever.
All of a sudden, I'm making decisions that seem reasonable, but aren't. And I can only conclude that it is a matter of confidence. Too much experience and confidence convinces us that we are smarter than we really are.
A twenty-year-old, may be arrogant and overly confident, but a reasonable version of that person can admit they are probably going to make the wrong decision in many circumstances. Add 30 years to that same personality, and suddenly the thinking becomes, 'well I know where the line is, I've seen it many times, I won't cross it.' Only while he's saying the words he hasn't noticed that he can't see the line because he is so far over it i's now out of sight the wrong direction.
I don't want my had chopped off. But it might be what's best for everyone.
It wasn't Frankenstein's monster's fault that no one could sleep when he lumbered about. Killing Dr Frankenstein wouldn't solve the issue at hand, but it sure would prevent it from happening again though.
Well everyone, since we're wallowing in self-pity, why not take a break and soak up this classic soundtrack. No one can walk Robby's path and not feel better about themselves. The sun always rises, my friend.
Video Killed the Radio Star
The Buggles 1980
I heard you on the wireless back in '52
Lying awake intent at tuning in on you
If I was young it didn't stop you coming through
(Oh-a-oh)
They took the credit for your second symphony
Rewritten by machine on new technology
And now I understand the problems you can see
I met your children
(Oh, a, oh)
What did you tell them?
Pictures came and broke your heart
(Oh-a-a-a-oh)
And now we meet in an abandoned studio
We hear the playback and it seems so long ago
And you remember the jingles used to go
You were the first one
(Oh-a-oh)
You were the last one
In my mind and in my car
We can't rewind we've gone too far
(Oh-a-a-a-oh)
(Oh-a-a-a-oh)
In my mind and in my car
We can't rewind we've gone too far
Pictures came and broke your heart
Put the blame on VCR
You are a radio star
You are a radio star
Video killed the radio star
Video killed the radio star
Video killed the radio star
Video killed the radio star
video killed the radio star
Video killed the radio star
(You are a radio star) video killed the radio star
Video killed the radio star
(You are a radio star) video killed the radio star
Video killed the radio star
Do You Really Want to Hurt Me
Culture Club 1982
Give me time to realize my crime
Let me love and steal
I have danced inside your eyes
How can I be real?
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Precious kisses, words that burn me
Lovers never ask you why
In my heart the fire is burning
Choose my color, find a star
Precious people always tell me
That's a step, a step too far
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Words are few I have spoken
I could waste a thousand years
Wrapped in sorrow, words are token
Come inside and catch my tears
You've been talking but believe me
If it's true you do not know
This boy loves without a reason
I'm prepared to let you go
If it's love you want from me
Then take it away
Everything's not what you see
It's over again
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Do you really want to hurt me?
Do you really want to make me cry?
Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic
The Police 1981
Though I've tried before to tell her
Of the feelings I have for her in my heart
Every time that I come near her
I just lose my nerve as I've done from the start
Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on
Do I have to tell the story
Of a thousand rainy days since we first met?
It's a big enough umbrella
But it's always me that ends up getting wet
Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on
I resolved to call her up
A thousand times a day
And ask her if she'll marry me
Some old-fashioned way
But my silent fears have gripped me
Long before I reach the phone
Long before my tongue has tripped me
Must I always be alone
Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on
Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she do just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on
On and on and on and
Every little thing, every little thing
Every little thing, every little thing
Every little, every little, every little
Every little thing she does
Every little thing she does
Every little thing she does
Every little thing she does
Thing she does is magic
E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh
E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh E-oh
Every little thing, every little thing
Every little thing she do is magic, magic, magic
Magic, magic, magic
Oh oh, Oh oh
E-oh oh oh oh oh
I have to tell a story
Of a thousand rainy days since we first met
It's a big enough umbrella
But it's always me that ends up getting wet
How Soon Is Now?
The Smiths 1984
I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
I am the son
And the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
There's a club if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home and you cry
And you want to die
When you say it's gonna happen now
When exactly do you mean?
See I've already waited too long
And all my hope is gone
You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
Love My Way
The Psychadelic Furs 1982
There's an army on the dance floor
It's a fashion with a gun, my love
In a room without a door
A kiss is not enough in
Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes, they'd put us on a railroad
They'd dearly make us pay for laughing in their faces and making it our way
There's emptiness behind their eyes, there's dust in all their hearts
They just want to steal us all and take us all apart, but not in
Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes
Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes
Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes, so swallow all your tears, my love
And put on your new face
You can never win or lose, if you don't run the race
Yeahhh, yeahhh, yeahhh
Aw ooh, aw ooh, aw ooh, aw ooh
Hold Me Now
The Thompson Twins 1984
I have a picture
Pinned to my wall
An image of you and of me and
We're laughing and loving it all
But look at our life now
All tattered and torn
We fuss and we fight and
Delighting with tears
As we cry until dawn
Oh, whoa
Hold me now, whoa
Warm my heart
Stay with me
Let loving start
(Let loving start)
You say I'm a dreamer
We're two of a kind
Both of us searching
For some perfect world
We know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here
Yeah, yeah, go far away
But you know that there's nowhere
That I'd rather be
Than with you here today
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa
Hold me now, whoa
Warm my heart
Stay with me
Let loving start
(Let loving start)
Hold me now, whoa
Warm my heart
Stay with me
Let loving start
(Let loving start) whoa
You ask if I love you
Well, what can I say?
You know that I do
And that this is just one
Of those games that we play
So I'll sing you a new song
Please don't cry any more
I'll even ask your forgiveness
Though I don't know
Just what I'm asking it for
Oh, whoa, oh, whoa
Hold me now, whoa
(Hold me in your loving arms)
Warm my heart
(Warm my cold and tired heart)
Stay with me
(Ooohooohooo stay with me)
Let loving start
Let loving start
Hold me now, whoa
(Hold me in your loving arms)
Warm my heart
(Warm my cold and tired heart)
Stay with me
(Ooohooohooo stay with me)
Let loving start
Let loving start
Everyday I Write The Book
Elvis Constello 1983
Don't tell me you don't know what love is
When you're old enough to know better
When you find strange hands in your sweater
When your dreamboat turns out to be a footnote
I'm a man with a mission on two or three editions
And I'm giving you a longing look
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday I write the book
Chapter One: We didn't really get along
Chapter Two: I think I fell in love with you
You said you'd stand by me in the middle of Chapter Three
But you were up to your old tricks in Chapters Four
Five and Six.
And I'm giving you a longing look
The way you walk
The way you talk and try to kiss me
And laugh in four or five paragraphs.
All your compliments and your cutting remarks
Are captured here in my quotation marks.
And I'm giving you a longing look
Everyday I write the book
Don't tell me you don't know the difference
Between a lover and a fighter
With my pen and my electric typewriter
Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal
I'd still own the film rights and be working on the sequel.
And I'm giving you a longing look
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday I write the book
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday
Everyday I write the book
White Wedding
Billy Idol 1982
Hey little sister, what have you done?
Hey little sister, who's the only one?
Hey little sister, who's your Superman?
Hey little sister, who's the one I want?
Hey little sister, shotgun
Oh, it's a nice day to start again
Come on, nice day for a white wedding day
Ooh yeah, a nice day to start again
Hey, little sister, what is it you wish?
Hey, little sister, what's your vice or wish?
You see, I've been away for so long (so long)
I let you go for so long (so long)
Hey, little sister, shotgun
Oh, it's a nice day to start again
Well, a nice day for a white wedding day
Ooh yeah, a nice day to start again
Yaw!
Pick it up
I said, “Take me back home, yeah”
There ain't nothin' fair in this world, girl
There ain't nothin' sure in this world
There ain't nothin' safe in this world
There ain't nothin' pure in this world
I look for something left in this world
I said, start again
Come on, it's a nice day for a white wedding, aw!
Ooh yeah, a nice day to start again
Well, white wedding, silk shedding
Fancy shower, white wedding day
Start again
Well, take me back home, yeah
White wedding
Silk shedding day
China Girl
David Bowie
Oh-oh-oh-oh, little China girl
Oh-oh-oh-oh, little China girl
I could escape this feeling with my China girl
I'm a wreck without my little China girl
I hear her heart beating as loud as thunder
I saw the stars crashing
I'm a mess without my little China girl
Wake up in the morning, where's my little China girl?
I hear her heart's beating loud as thunder
I saw the stars crashing down
I'm feeling tragic like I'm Marlon Brando
When I look at my China girl
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much
When I look at my China girl
I stumble into town
Just like some sacred cow
Visions of swastikas in my head
Plans for everyone
It's in the white of my eyes
My little China girl
You shouldn't mess with me
I'll ruin everything you are
You know it
I'll give into your visions
I'll give you eyes of blue
But I'll give you a man who wants to rule the world
And when I get excited
My little China girl says
“Oh, baby, just you shut your mouth”
She says, “Shh...”
She says, “Shh...”
She says
And when I get excited
My little China girl, she says
“Oh, baby, just you shut your mouth”
And when I get excited
My little China girl, she says
“Oh, baby, just you shut your mouth”
She says, “Shh...”
She says
Little China girl
Little China girl
Blue Monday
New Order
How does it feel to treat me like you do?
When you've laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are
Thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me, how do I feel?
Tell me now, how do I feel?
Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations
From the past until completion
They'll turn away no more
And still, I find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me
Just how I should feel today
I see a ship in the harbor
I can and shall obey
But if it wasn't for your misfortune
I'd be a heavenly person today
And I thought I was mistaken
And I thought I heard you speak
Tell me, how do I feel?
Tell me now, how should I feel?
Now I stand here waiting
I thought I told you to leave me
While I walk down to the beach
Tell me, how does it feel
When your heart grows cold? (Grows cold, grows cold-)
Pass the Dutchie
Musical Youth 1982
This generation
Rules the nation
With version
Music happens to be the food of love
Sounds to really make you rub and scrub
I say
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side
It a go bun (give me the music, make me jump and prance)
It a go dung, ya know? (Give me the music, make me rockin' at the dance)
It was a cool and lonely breezy afternoon
(How does it feel when you've got no food?)
You could feel it 'cause it was the month of June
(How does it feel when you've got no food?)
So I left my gate and went out for a walk
(How does it feel when you've got no food?)
As I pass the dreadlocks camp, I heard them say
(How does it feel when you've got no food?)
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side (I say)
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side
It a go bun (give me the music, make me jump and prance)
It a go dung, ya know? (Give me the music, make me rockin' at the dance)
So I stopped to find out what was going on
(How does it feel when you've got no food?)
'Cause the spirit of Jah, you know he leads you on
(How does it feel when you've got no food?)
There was a ring of dreads and a session was there in swing
(How does it feel when you've got no food?)
You could feel the chills as I seen and heard them say
(How does it feel when you've got no food?)
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side (I say)
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side
It a go bun (give me the music, make me jump and prance)
It a go dung, ya know? (Give me the music, make me rockin' at the dance)
Now me say, listen to the drummer, me say listen to the bass
Give me a little music, make me wind up me waist
Me say listen to the drummer, me say listen to the bass
Give me a little music, make me wind up me waist, I say
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side (I say)
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side
It a go bun (give me the music, make me jump and prance)
It a go dung, ya know? (Give me the music, make me rockin' at the dance)
You play it on the radio
And so me say, we a go hear it on the stereo (stereo)
And so me know we a go play it on the disco
And so me say we a go hear it on the stereo, whoa
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side (I say)
Pass the Dutchie 'pon the left hand side
It a go bun (give me the music, make me jump and prance)
It a go dung, ya know? (Give me the music, make me rockin' at the dance)
On the left hand side (I say)
On the left hand side (I say)
On the left hand side (idiot)
On the left hand side (feel it)
On the left hand side
And I say east, say west, say north and south
This is gonna really make us jump and shout
And I say east, say west, say north and south
This is gonna really make us jump and shout
I say
Have You Written Anything Lately?
The Wedding Singer Soundtrack
Have you written anything lately?
Yeah I guess.
Will you play it for me?
You don't wanna hear it, it's not good.
No, I'm sure it is.
It's just that... I wrote half of it when I was with Linda and I wrote the other half after we broke up, so it's a little uneven, y'know?
I-I don't mind. I'd like to hear it.
Yeeeeeaaaaaaah alright.
Yaaaayyyyyy.
Somebody Kill Me
Adam Sandler
Ok, I just want to warn you that when I wrote this song
I was listening to the Cure a lot.
You don't know how much I need you.
While you're around I don't feel blue.
And when we kiss I know that you need me too.
I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true.
But it all was bullshit.
It was a goddam joke.
And when I think of you, Linda
I hope you f-ing choke.
I hope you're glad with what you've done to me.
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy.
You left me here all alone, tears running constantly.
Oh somebody kill me please,
somebody kill me plee-ase,
I'm on my knees,
pretty pretty please kill me.
I want to die.
Put a bullet in my head.
[Spoken]
[Kid:] You're going to the mental institution.
Rappers Delight
Sugarhill Gang
Now what you hear is not a test, I'm rappin' to the beat
And me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet
You see, I am Wonder Mike, and I'd like to say hello
To the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow
But first I gotta bang-bang the boogie to the boogie
Say up jump the boogie to the bang-bang boogie
Let's rock, you don't stop
Rock the riddle that'll make your body rock
Well, so far you've heard my voice, but I brought two friends along
And next on the mic is my man Hank
And come on, Hank, sing that song!
Check it out, I'm the C-A-S an' the O-V-A, and the rest is F-L-Y
You see, I go by the code of the doctor of the mix and these reasons, I'll tell ya why
You see, I'm six-foot-one and I'm tons of fun and I dress to a T
You see, I got more clothes than Muhammad Ali, and I dress so viciously
I got bodyguards, I got two big cars that definitely ain't the wack
I got a Lincoln Continental and a sunroof Cadillac
So after school, I take a dip in the pool, which really is on the wall
I got a color TV so I can see the Knicks play basketball
Hear me talkin' 'bout checkbooks, credit cards, more money than a sucker could ever spend
But I wouldn't give a sucker or a bum from the Rucker not a dime 'til I made it again
Everybody go “Hotel, motel, whatcha gonna do today? (say what?)
'Cause I'ma get a fly girl, gonna get some spank and drive off in a def OJ
Everybody go “Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn!”
Say, if your girl starts actin' up, then you take her friend
A Master Gee, am I mellow?
It's on you, so what you gonna do?
Well, it's on and on and on, on and on
The beat don't stop until the break of dawn
I said a M-A-S, a T-E-R, a G with a double E
I said I go by the unforgettable name of the man they call the Master Gee
Well, my name is known all over the world by all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls
I'm goin' down in history as the baddest rapper there could ever be
Now I'm feelin' the highs and ya feelin' the lows
The beat starts gettin' into your toes
Ya start poppin' ya fingers and stompin' your feet
And movin' your body while you're sittin' in your seat
And then, damn, ya start doin' the freak
I said damn, right outta your seat
Then ya throw your hands high in the air
Ya rockin' to the rhythm, shake your derriere
Ya rockin' to the beat without a care
With the sureshot MCs for the affair
Now, I'm not as tall as the rest of the gang
But I rap to the beat just the same
I got a little face and a pair of brown eyes
All I'm here to do, ladies, is hypnotize
Singing on and on and on, on and on
The beat don't stop until the break of dawn
A-singing on and on and on, on and on
Like a hot ready to pop the pop the pop dibbie-dibbie
Pop the pop-pop, you don't dare stop
A-come alive, y'all, gimme what you got
I guess by now, you can take a hunch
And find that I am the baby of the bunch
But that's okay, I still keep in stride
'Cause all I'm here to do is just wiggle your behind
Singing on and on and on, on and on
The beat don't stop until the break of dawn
Singing on and on and on, on and on
Rock-rock, y'all, throw it on the floor
I'm gonna freak ya here, I'm gonna freak ya there
I'm gonna move you outta this atmosphere
'Cause I'm one of a kind, and I'll shock your mind
I'll put the tick, tick, tickets in your behind
I said a-one, two, three, four
Come on, girls, get on the floor
A-come alive, y'all, a-gimme what ya got
'Cause I'm guaranteed to make you rock
I said a-one, two, three, four
Tell me, Wonder Mike, what are you waitin' for?
Said a hip-hop, the hippie to the hippie
The hip, hip-a-hop and you don't stop rockin'
To the bang, bang the boogie, say up jump the boogie
To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
A-skiddlee bebop, we rock a scooby-doo
And guess what, America, we love you
'Cause ya rock and ya roll with so much soul
You could rock 'til you're a hundred and one years old
I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast
But we're like hot butter on our breakfast toast
Rock it up, a-baby bubba
Baby bubba to the boogie, the bang-bang, the boogie
To the beat, beat, it's so unique
Come on, everybody, and dance to the beat
Ever went over a friend's house to eat and the food just ain't no good?
I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed, and the chicken tastes like wood
So you try to play it off like you think you can, by sayin' that you're full
And then your friend says, “Momma, he just being polite, he ain't finished, uh-uh, that's bull!”
And so your heart starts pumpin', and you think of a lie, and you say that you already ate
And your friend says, “Man, there's plenty of food!” so you pile some more on your plate
And while the stinky foods steamin' your mind starts to dreamin' of the moment that it's time to leave
And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rottin' into something that looks like cheese
Oh, so you say, “That's it, I got to leave this place! I don't care what these people think
I'm just sittin' here makin' myself nauseous with this ugly food that stinks!”
And so you bust out the door while it's still closed, still sick from the food you ate
And then you run to the store for quick relief from a bottle of Kaopectate
And then you call your friend two weeks later to see how he has been
And he says, “I understand about the food, baby bubbah, but we're still friends”
A with a hip-hop, the hippie to the hippie
The hip, hip-hop and you don't stop the rockin'
To the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie
To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat