Sketchbook #61 – “Time for the Big Gun”
A stroll through the garden of my mind
This was written and drawn between March and October 2023.
This initially started with the intent to minimize or eliminate and text. I wanted to try a book of ONLY drawings. But by Page 43 I had abandoned the concept entirely. This is a Moleskine with 220 pages. We only traveled a little during this book. Pages 60-120 saw us in New Mexico and Colorado.
The time during this book was a period of healing after a series of bad decisions causing hurt to people very dear to me. I have since come to realize that what happened the previous fall was not the trauma, it was a symptom of a much larger, long-running problem: burnout.
They tried to tell me to take a break. To practice self-care and make time to recharge... but I never listen to good advice. Thinking instead that unless I'm grinding away, I am wasting my time.
I did try to make adjustments. To offload some of the load of responsibility. But those in my life who are there as colleagues and coworkers just didn't want to bother. Or they didn't care. That's probably unfair to them. I'm sure they are battling their own dragons. The result is the same. If you can't share the load, you are doomed.
If you find yourself burning all the candles at once, both ends, up, down and sideways. That's fine and I applaud your ability to do so. But STOP before it's too late. You will reach a point where you can't take it anymore and you will start making worse and worse decisions that cost more and more. And one day you find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile. And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself “Well, how did I get here?”
For the record: I'm STILL trying to come back from this burnout I mentioned. To be honest, I'm not sure how.
Enjoy the sketchbook. Make good decisions. Don't ruin relationships. Big ships turn slowly, start your tack now.
Love always,
Charlie
Update 1/29/25 the burnout is real and I drag on. I feel like my whole life has been upended and put on pause. It’s very very weird.
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Thank you for coming here and walking through the garden of my mind. No day is as brilliant in its moment as it is gilded in memory. Embrace your experience and relish gorgeous recollection.
Into every life a little light will shine. Thank you for being my luminance in whatever capacity you may. Shine on, you brilliant souls!
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