She Lived In her Liquor
My aunt used to live in Paris
I remember, she used to come home and tell us these stories about being abroad
And I remember she told us that she jumped into the river once, barefoot
She smiled
Leapt, without looking
And tumbled into the Seine
The water was freezing
She spent a month sneezing
But said she would do it again
Here's to the ones who dream
Foolish as they may seem
Here's to the hearts that ache
Here's to the mess we make
She captured a feeling
Sky with no ceiling
The sunset inside a frame
She lived in her liquor
And died with a flicker
I'll always remember the flame
Here's to the ones who dream
Foolish as they may seem
Here's to the hearts that ache
Here's to the mess we make
She told me
“A bit of madness is key
To give us new colors to see
Who knows where it will lead us?
And that's why they need us”
So bring on the rebels
The ripples from pebbles
The painters, and poets, and plays
And here's to the fools who dream
Crazy as they may seem
Here's to the hearts that break
Here's to the mess we make
I trace it all back to then
Her, and the snow, and the Seine
Smiling through it
She said she'd do it again
In truth, my aunt less lived in her liquor than merely existed there. The dreamer in me loves the idea of the adventurous, fun-loving person this piece from LaLa land pictures. But in reality, it is a much sadder existence. Or it was. One that makes you wonder what she experienced that would drive her to the bottle… and the needle. Something so powerful that it would not only destroy her, but her children and their children.
Whatever it was, it was powerful enough to spill into the lives of her ancillary family as well. Which is why I’m laying awake at 4:30a thinking about her and her impact on my life. About how she has left us now with all of these pieces and brokenness to try to understand our own existence and if we have a happiness deep enough to overcome the gift of the darkness she and those like her gave.
I’ll bet you got that gift too. The gravity well of sadness that you keep trying and trying to build enough velocity to escape from but find that you have only managed to land in a higher orbit.
Keep striving. Keep fighting. The gravity isn’t infinite. You will escape.
Until then, remember your aunt in the best possible light, recall her effervescent qualities as a lift and eschew the weight of her darkness that pulls you down.
Love always,
Charlie
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