The Dangers of Gasoline
This one's not a clever metaphor. It's a diatribe against being a moron.
Diesel engines have ONE rule. Well, they have many... but there's one simple, idiotic thing you can do to kill a $15,000 engine faster than you can send an email.
Fill it with gasoline.
And that is exactly what I did.
As I've mentioned a time or two here, ol' Wolfin cleverly bought an old Sprinter van a few years ago and slapped some camping kit in it and drove around the country. It wasn't perfect, but it was amazing. Our own toilet, our own rolling hotel. Wherever we stopped was our place.
But, the rushed nature of the project meant that one day, I would start all over. That day came in mid-September of 2024 when work slowed to a crawl and I found myself with lots of time. So I gutted her and started from bare walls.
This is an important point in explaining how I could violate the cardinal rule of driving a diesel. For parts of 3 months, Campervan Beethoven (as she is so christened by a dear friend) sat in my driveway, only occasionally moving for coffee or to pick up parts. That means: no new fuel. We just didn't need it.
So, fast forward to the 2nd weekend in December and we're headed to our second party of the weekend (we're hosting). It's a mad dash on a Sunday afternoon to get our decor and food to the venue and set up. By this point we were both pretty exhausted having attended two funerals, a social gathering to commiserate about the dead and a delightful evening at the ballet watching a local production of the Nutcracker.
This is the point in the story where I absentmindedly pull up to a fueling station and drop $60 to try to ruin my engine. I was so distracted and tired, I just filled up with premium, which is what my other two vehicles demand, then get in and drive the mile-and-a-half home. CVB is a block away from the house when the diesel in the fuel line burns out and that sweet, sweet gasoline hits the cylinders.
Sputter, sputter, chug, chug. Cough. Blerg.
At first, I think it's just a misfire. I've hit potholes before that are so jarring they have shut down engines entirely. But then the misfire happens a second, then a third time as I'm turning a corner to head to our driveway. Now the van is in complete fits and hardly running. It takes about 300 feet for me to to do the math and, through process of elimination, deduce that I do not have bad diesel, I have very likely filled it with regular gas. I deduce this because i have ZERO recollection of putting diesel fuel into the tank. Something I can generally recall.
Which, patient reader, brings us to tonight. Midnight the day after. I sprung from bed this morning and unbolted the fuel tank dropped it on to a lift (no small feet when filled with 25 gallons of flammable liquid), then proceeded to pump the contaminated fuel into 6 x 5 gallon buckets.
I'm not sure which was harder, getting the gasoline out or finding a place to dump it. It took about 8 phone calls, but I did finally find a service station that would let me dump it in with their waste oil from quick change oil changes.
Then it was button the tank back up, replace the fuel filter, purge the fuel lines and charge the system.
If you are me, you have been praying through the entire process that you haven't destroyed your engine, but now is as good a time as any to make one last plea to the Creator, that your dumb little van get a little more life since you've invested heavily in it over the last two years.
And finally at 10pm the day after you do the dumb thing, the van comes to life, as strong as ever and apparently undamaged. Bullet dodged.
Near misses, indeed.
The lesson here is, you can never relax. You have to stay vigilant all the time. Letting your guard down can not just inconvenience you and cost your money and time, it can sap your will to live as well.
Oh, for the those fearful of destroying your beautiful gasoline engines with diesel: engineering to the rescue. Diesel nozzles are too big to fit into a regular gasoline filler receptor.
Because it's angry and sounds like gasoline, I give you an epic grunge ballad: GLYCERINE by BUSH
Discuss...
