Windward and Seaward
He calms the windstorm; The waves of the sea grow quiet.
04/09/2025
Do you find yourself looking for your sea-legs in light of the storms of life? I surely do. Life isn't like on Star Trek when they'd rock the camera to fake disturbance. The rocking and rolling of the deck of a our lives is alternately crushing and levitating.
Who steadies your ship? Is it a friend? A lover? A mate?
I stood on stage last night before one hundred and ten doleful souls worn and tired from a long day of life's labors. They had come for refreshment and renewal. I had thirty minutes to rally them in the final cry of the night.
We spoke of Paul and his departure from Caesarea on his journey to Rome (“to Caesar you shall go!”). It's an interesting note that the writer of Acts mentions the boat was from Adramyttium. What an odd detail. Adrayttium is in the direction they need to go, so perhaps the writer Luke thought to mention it as giving credibility to the account. As in, 'I hopped a train going to Canada.' If I was writing about traveling north from Texas.
In any case, I find real joy in Bible discussions about sea journeys. Partly because it represents the unknown and adventure. Books like The Sea-Wolf, Moby Dick, Master and Commander, The Old Man and the Sea, The Wager, The Heart of the Sea or The Perfect Storm— traveling by ocean is like going to another world. In the case of Bible accounts it is connected with the gospel and hoping to help people to change their lives for the better.
Certainly in the case of Paul's journey to Rome for trial, his life was changing drastically. But, even though he was a prisoner, he made the most of the trip and took every opportunity to befriend others and share with them his hope and experience. What a gorgeous man. In spite of being arrested and confined for years without judgment, he saw it simply as another chapter of life.
It's a truly excellent example for a room full of people who feel trapped by their own perceived inertia. Regardless of circumstance, look for opportunity and don't be afraid of the shadows.
A lovely component of the conversation from the Bible book of Acts chapter 27 was when they put to port in Sidon. Here, the officer in charge of Paul, Julius, gave him permission to disembark and visit fellow worshipers and friends. What an incredible opportunity to be encouraged and to encourage others! And certainly he couldn't have anticipated this kindness on behalf of his guard.
But he didn't need to. Jehovah knew Paul needed companionship and encouragement. It is part of why he was joined by Luke and Aristarchus, both friends of his. And imagine if you were among those he got to visit at Sidon. You would tell that story the rest of your life.
The Creator sees us and knows what we need. If we have it, it is for purpose. If we do not, there is understanding there too. We are made not just from what things we contain, but we are made from absences as well. Embrace and love all of it.
Maybe those tears whetting your face serve another purpose than to indicate your sadness. Maybe they water some deeper understanding you now have in your heart. Letting empathy blossom where before even sympathy struggled to grow.
It was a lively conversation and I thoroughly enjoyed the input and comments of my friends.
Refreshingly, we had a visitor from out of town who knew her business on sailing jargon. It took all I had to not just want to stand on stage and talk to her for 20 minutes. I particularly appreciated a detail she mentioned about tacking in sailing vessels (zig-zagging back and forth INTO a wind to sail). Doing so alternately puts the port and starboard AGAINST the waves and makes for some intensely rough feeling seas. A marvelous detail highlighting how challenging this voyage rally was.
I entertained wearing an eye-patch to start, but thought maybe that might be too much for my group. I had fun telling the story of what might have been in any case.
Personally, I've been reflecting a lot on what the Bible refers to as a 'thorn in Paul's flesh'. It wasn't part of last nights conversation, but it's been on my mind a lot the last year. For the first time in my life I am really struggling with just being a human being. Motivation, joy, zeal, faith and my future are all in complete flux. Much like Paul, there is something I just have to carry. I can't put it down—so forward I must go. How nice to have an example in someone so faithful as that ancient soul and mariner. No reason I can't be him too. A good example is in the hour or so before I went on stage, I was feeling very discordant and just generally in a malaise. I prayed for an upbeat countenance, to be buoyant and outgoing and encouraging, to not linger in my dark thoughts.
And sure enough, it worked. By the time we concluded I was feeling ten feet tall. What a delight. An absolute delight. Made my heart swell.
Speaking of my heart, Missus Wherl is feeling MUCH better. She isn't dancing any jigs quite yet, but she's able to stay conscious all day and I heard her laughing at something dumb on Frasier a little while ago. So—a win.
Her mother and Sister have been doing their level best to convince us this is an all-hands 911 emergency. No doubt they are panicked from the family losses lately. But my mother (the nurse) told me when you get REALLY sick, expect to feel like death for a week and then slowly begin to recover. Which is exactly the schedule where we find ourselves.
I am hopeful a silver lining of this is she will get serious about regular intense exercise (not strolls around the park) and massively reduce her sugar intake. I thought cutting it out myself would be the silver bullet. But feeling and looking better (having dropped almost sixty pounds) isn't the motivator I thought it would be.
However, realizing this sickness was made much worse by the diabetes and lack of exercise might be the trigger she needed.
Time will tell.
I suppose that is love: being ultimately frustrated with another's decisions but accepting them as yours all the same. What must it be like to be paired with someone a hundred years? What insults are born and forgotten? Failures recovered from? Glories celebrated and secret wins shared between two?
Women in particular seem to have the heavier burden to bear. We men being so dumb after all. You girls. Thank you for putting up with us. We certainly don't deserve it.
Speaking of girls and mothers; currently listening to The Smiths
It's been stuck in my head all day after hearing it on an errand this morning. Such an engaging song. Lyrically, it's very simple, mostly the title chorus. But the lines about humanity through history (Ice-age to the dole-age and Antony said to Cleopatra) really got me to thinking about the three women closest to my heart and the hierarchy of all the women in my life.
I've written before about being raised by a strong-willed woman in a house of women and marrying a woman of determination from a family of strong willed women. It is why I prefer the company of women and communicate so much more easily with them than my own sex.
The less sophisticated may argue, 'duh, their WOMEN! Of COURSE you like to be around them.' But I counter with a life spent not taking advantage of the fairer sex, but respecting them. Mostly. I've got some black eyes in there, but no one is perfect.
My point being—yes Wolf, WHAT exactly was your point?—that Some Girls touched me. Morrissey's lyrics are deceptively simple. When you dwell on the importance of women you begin to see them as monolithic creatures in your own life. Touchstones that teach you compassion and love and nurturing. Thoughtfulness and service. Who of us would not be made less without those more complete humans' adding to us, rounding us and grounding us?
Most certainly, women are the ones who have said the most stabilizing and encouraging things to me in my life. They have picked up my pieces and put me back together. God, they are the life, the wonder, the joy.
Yes, we all (both sexes) need the masculine. But I argue our culture and societies are working so hard to both make women simultaneously LESS and EQUAL that people are losing touch with how much we gain just by the thoughtfulness and kindness of women.
They are not objects, nor are they slaves. They are our COMPLEMENT. Our partners. Our teammates. We in turn make one another better.
For my part, I am deeply thankful for the women in my life. Both they who are here and those that were. For even they that I no longer can enjoy the grace of their presence, they are no less in me now than they were before. That is BECAUSE some women are bigger than others, some mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers.
And I am so glad for that.
Incidentally, I stole a line for a poem I wrote to the moon.
Send me the pillow
The one that you dream on
And I'll send you mine
TERRIFIC!!! How could I NOT lift that.
I am missing old friends today. The Royal Road to Romance has me longing to just leave and see what adventure the road brings. But, currently, I must be content to just use imagination. There will always be adventures to be had, for now, I must be a man of responsibility.
Let the heavens watch, and the waves remember our names! Goodbye, my heart. The sea is calling—and I must go.
I'm SUDDENLY desperately missing the ocean. Though I think I'm missing something QUITE different from what Paul's experience was like.
WIWL
#essay #memoir #sermon #music #osxs
Acts Chapter 27
Acts 27
Now as it was decided for us to sail away to Italy, they handed Paul and some other prisoners over to an army officer named Julius, of the unit of Augustus. Going aboard a ship from Adramyttium that was about to sail to ports along the coast of the province of Asia, we set sail; Aristarchus, a Macedonian from Thessalonica, was with us. The next day we landed at Sidon, and Julius treated Paul with kindness and permitted him to go to his friends and enjoy their care.
And putting out to sea from there, we sailed under the shelter of Cyprus, because the winds were against us. Then we navigated through the open sea along Cilicia and Pamphylia and put into port at Myra in Lycia. There the army officer found a ship from Alexandria that was sailing for Italy, and he made us board it. Then after sailing on slowly quite a number of days, we came to Cnidus with difficulty. Because the wind did not let us make headway, we sailed under the shelter of Crete off Salmone. And sailing with difficulty along the coast, we came to a place called Fair Havens, which was near the city of Lasea.
A considerable time had passed and by now it was hazardous to navigate, because even the fast of Atonement Day was already over, so Paul made a recommendation to them: “Men, I can see that this voyage is going to result in damage and great loss not only of the cargo and the ship but also of our lives.” However, the army officer listened to the pilot and the shipowner rather than to what Paul was saying. Since the harbor was unsuitable for wintering, the majority advised setting sail from there to see if they could somehow make it to spend the winter in Phoenix, a harbor of Crete that opens toward the northeast and toward the southeast.
When the south wind blew softly, they thought they had achieved their purpose, and they lifted anchor and began sailing along Crete close to the shore. After a short time, however, a violent wind called Euroaquilo rushed down on it. As the ship was violently seized and was not able to keep its head against the wind, we gave way to it and were driven along. Then we ran under the shelter of a small island called Cauda, and yet we were hardly able to get the skiff at the stern of the ship under control. But after hoisting it aboard, they used supports to undergird the ship, and fearing that they would run aground on the Syrtis, they lowered the gear and so were driven along. Because we were being violently tossed by the storm, they began to lighten the ship the following day. And on the third day, they threw away the tackling of the ship with their own hands.
When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and a violent storm was battering us, all hope of our being saved finally began to fade. After they had gone a long time without food, Paul stood up in their midst and said: “Men, you certainly should have taken my advice and not have put out to sea from Crete and as a result suffered this damage and loss. Still, I now urge you to take courage, for not one of you will be lost, only the ship will. This night an angel of the God to whom I belong and to whom I render sacred service stood by me and said: ‘Have no fear, Paul. You must stand before Caesar, and look! God has granted to you all those sailing with you.’ So take courage, men, for I believe God that it will be exactly as I was told. However, we must be cast ashore on some island.”
Now when the 14th night fell and we were being tossed about on the Sea of Adria, at midnight the sailors began to suspect that they were getting near to some land. They sounded the depth and found it 20 fathoms, so they proceeded a short distance and again made a sounding and found it 15 fathoms. And fearing that we might run aground on the rocks, they cast out four anchors from the stern and began wishing for it to become day. But when the sailors began trying to escape from the ship and were lowering the skiff into the sea under the pretense of intending to let down anchors from the bow, Paul said to the army officer and the soldiers: “Unless these men remain in the ship, you cannot be saved.” Then the soldiers cut away the ropes of the skiff and let it fall off.
Now close to daybreak, Paul encouraged them all to take some food, saying: “Today is the 14th day you have been waiting anxiously, and you have gone without taking any food at all. So I encourage you to eat some food; this is in the interests of your safety, for not a hair of the head of any one of you will perish.” After he said this, he took bread, gave thanks to God before them all, broke it, and started eating. So they all took courage and began taking some food themselves. In all we were 276 persons in the ship. When they had eaten enough food to be satisfied, they lightened the ship by throwing the wheat overboard into the sea.
When daylight came, they could not recognize the land, but they saw a bay with a beach and were determined to beach the ship there if they could. So they cut away the anchors and let them fall into the sea, at the same time loosening the lashings of the rudder oars; and after hoisting the foresail to the wind, they made for the beach. When they struck a shoal washed on each side by the sea, they ran the ship aground and the bow got stuck and stayed immovable, but the stern began to be violently broken to pieces by the waves. At this the soldiers decided to kill the prisoners so that no one might swim away and escape. But the army officer was determined to bring Paul safely through and prevented them from carrying out their plan. He commanded those able to swim to jump into the sea and make it to land first, and the rest were to follow, some on planks and some on pieces of the ship. So all were brought safely to land.
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Thank you for coming here and walking through the garden of my mind. No day is as brilliant in its moment as it is gilded in memory. Embrace your experience and relish gorgeous recollection.
Into every life a little light will shine. Thank you for being my luminance in whatever capacity you may. Shine on, you brilliant souls!
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