my recovery from people pleasing, co depency, and inabilitiy to set boundaries in a friendship that REALLY needed some boundaries

Sometimes I go through a roller coaster of feelings I forget and then remember how my life has changed since I broke up with my best friends.

Yesterday I watched the opening of the new West Side Story, a musical that I always loved. However, I didn't it remember it being so blatently racist (or rather, I didn't remember the Jets being so racist. They hated the Skarks for being a rival gang. Not so much for being Puerto Rican. As I remember it).

And I thought, I'll ask my very best friends. But then I thought about how TheBadger would mock me for it. And I questioned whether I wanted to endure that mocking. But then I realized, yeah, I wanted to learn more than I didn't want to be mocked....

...and then I remembered it didn't matter anyway because TheBadger wasn't my friend anymore and as much as I miss them and the conversations we used to have, I am so much better off this way.

Change is strange. I miss them still. But I don't miss the constant hurting and constant anxiety. And you know what? I can go to Google and learn about the changes in the new version of West Side Story. And you know what else? I'm willing to bet Google will not mock me for asking.

I am
.Worthy, Deserving, Enough
I have
I deserve
.Respect, Kindness
I am
.Worth as much as a cat
I am