Tina's Writing Notebook: Plot Sketches, Serials, and Gay Things.

Front Loading – Don't Do It.

First drafts are my embarrassment mainly due to info dumps.

For example:

EXT. BASECAMP/INNER YARD – CONTINUOUS

KOSTEK, 26, tall, narrow, and baby-faced, strides atop a large cinder block wall with a bow in hand and a gimme cap pulled tight over his head.

Tomko and the Colonel enter through the large metal door and into a MURDER TRAP, an enclosure big enough to pull their kayaks in and close the outer door.

The interior contains survivalist essentials: A METAL WHEEL-LOCK DOOR to an underground bunker centres the base camp’s interior layout. TWO SOLAR PANEL TOWERS stand like trees near the front wall, with AN OUTDOOR SHOWER, TWO MEAT AND FISH SMOKERS, and a TILED BUTCHERING AREA with a floor drain.

There is a cooking area containing a KILN/OVEN and buried FIRE PIT, along with TWO HAY BALE TARGETS with plenty of room for archery practice. The rest of the yard contains a CHICKEN COUP, BEEHIVE TOWER, a CANNING SHED, a GLASS HOT HOUSE, and RAISED GARDEN BEDS.

Kostek drops down and opens the second door, allowing the Colonel and Tomko to drag in their kayaks.

This massive block of information is what we call front-loading – DON’T DO IT.

For real, just – spread that shit out with dialogue or reveal in other scenes – don’t load it all in their at once. I did it in first-drafts because my mind constantly writes with story boarding in mind and even taking that into consideration—no director will pan through the whole yard to see everything in it as the Colonel and Tomko enter.

Not when this story relies heavily on the tension and body language of the characters.

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