Death of ego, dance of personality, discovery of soul
First my ego had to die
It was a violent death that lasted many years
Sometimes hilarious like the Monty Python skit
“tis but a scratch!” my ego yelled
Other times dark and depressing as the shadow aspects of my ego learned to hid among the corpses of past selves
Until I realized that it was my ego who was so intent on killing all aspects of itself so that the best of it could become King
And so I learned that the death of my ego had to be a surrender, not a war.
Soon thereafter I began to dance with my personality
Watching her spin and transform
Letting me lead and learning to celebrate my steps
Seducing me slowly and all at once
With all that is good and right
Plus a few invitations that were neither good nor right
But in those moments felt like me
I've learned to take a deep breath when my personality takes my hand
So I can be sure not to get lost in her many magnificent movements
Somewhere beneath that pile of ego deaths
Tip-toe-ing with a flourish above the fray
I beg God to be able of discovering my soul
Perhaps not all of it at once
But just enough for today
To carry me through one more death
And one more dance
Closer to truth