5amclub

Four chapters, two weeks in. Working hypothesis—based on four chapters, a closer reading of the back cover, and flipping through the pages in frantic search for anything useful—is: The “The 5 AM Club” is a worthwhile concept (“get up before everybody else so you have some quiet time”) saturated in 311 pages of snake oil.

My bedside alarm remains set for 5 AM every day, but so far I’ve only succeeded in getting out of bed then on “regular business days.” Yesterday was Yom Kippur, and I got up at around 6. Today was the day after Yom Kippur, and I got up at like 8:30.

I still don’t know whether sleeping “in” on weekends is acceptable under 5 AM club rules. I probably never will, because I do not think this book contains any practical advice or wisdom whatsover.

The description on the back of the book represents that

The 5 AM Club will walk you through … a little-known formula you can use instantly to wake up early feeling inspired, focused, and flooded with a fiery drive to get the most out of each day; a step-by-step method to protect the quietest hours of daybreak so you have time for exercise, self-renewal and personal growth, … ‘insider-only’ tactics to defend your gifts, talents and dreams against digital distraction and trivial diversions so you enjoy fortune, influence and a magnificent impact on the world.”

I have seen nothing resembling “formula” or “step-by-step method” so far, and nothing hinting that it will ever get there. I was excited about chapter 1 when I thought it was one of those “initial anecdote” windups. But I’m flipping through and seeing that I was wrong. The narrative never changes. The entire book seems to consist of several unlikable characters learning about how to win at toxic individualism / capitalism while also being wellness gurus who enjoy life.

When I did my “Rules” blog, I did not necessarily blog it cover to cover, though I think I did read the actual book. The Rules chapters were actual “rules,” like, “don’t call him” or similar. For some reason I expected this book to be similar? I don’t know why. Most books aren’t quite as directive as “The Rules.” But I don’t think I was wrong to expect that this book would at least remotely resemble a “playbook” of sorts, where I could extract some specific tactics, execute them, and blog about it.

Any practical advice in 5 AM club is dispensed via (fake?) book or lecture that these characters (did I mention that these characters are terrible?) encounter. So far none of the characters even have names, which makes it even worse somehow. We have met “the entrepreneur,” “the artist,” and, a bit offensively?, “the homeless man” (who seems to have been previously rich and successful? I can’t be sure of that because I have lost interest and am just skimming, but this character seems like one of those “beat you over the head with irony” devices). I am in no way interested in these characters or their lives.

The closest I’ve come across to relevance is this paragraph, near the end of chapter four.

The homeless man now had his eyes closed. And was down on the floor doing a series of one-armed push-ups. All the while he was chanting, “Own your morning. Elevate your life.”

So, chanting this book’s subtitle. I had to read four chapters of throat clearing to get to words that are on the front cover? And here’s the last paragraph of the book:

All five were still huddled in the circle…They smiled at one another. A clear gesture of mutual respect… “Starting at 5 AM,” they all said together. “Own your morning. Elevate your life!”

So I have to meet at least one more of these terrible characters, just to wind up right back at the subtitle?

This will teach me to launch a personal growth blog before doing any meaningful research on the book. But I want to ride it out, so perhaps this blog turns into a takedown of “The 5 AM club” while incorporating material from self-help books I actually like, like “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” and, the one I just started reading, “Anxiety Rx,” which I’m over halfway through already and seems like great blog juice, e.g., there’s some actual wisdom in it, but also substance beyond the basic premise, and material to engage with critically. Maybe I’ll start reading a Chatterjee book too, since it was Chatterjee’s description of his own belief in morning routines that inspired me to start waking up early.