An Envelope
It came without warning like all letters do and in my hands it was nothing more than rubbish. I could have easily thrown it away that letter. It was nothing to me and I was certainly nothing to it. I didn't have to open it, it wasn't addressed to me. It was just there on top of my mailbox, it could have been for anyone.
However...........
I was. Intrigued. For every letter I'd ever held was light. While this small envelope was very very very very very very heavy. In fact before I had a chance to really get to know the fellow it fell to the ground. Well that wouldn't do would it? ( no I hope it wouldn't )
So I left and got my L-shaped dolly cart. Poor girl was older than the shed it sat in and oh god how it screamed out as the craggy gray wheels touched the front of my drive. As I pushed her eventually those screams subsided and I did my best. My absolute best. To get her right into position. But.
I .. Had .. To .. Make .. Sure
(So i looked around real fast, left and then quickly right)
“Good” I said to myself and with that (knowing no one was around to see me ( a person of good standing ( some would say the best standing ) ) ) ready to move this bizarre letter from the sidewalk to my home.
So I got down and with my hands gripped around the course paper, I pulled!
aughhh
ErrrrrrrrrGHhhhhh
Gurd.. Lor... I stammered into the chilly morning air. But, I had done it, one letter on its way to be delivered. I moved myself behind ye old dolly and as I went to bear weight on the two lever handles I was startled by how.. difficult.. it was to bring.. to.. forty five degrees.
“Nope, not a letter”...“A damned demon iron is in that package”.. I huffed and I pushed and pushed and PUSHED until the dolly cart had enough. Right before my doorway. Then she cracked and I feel backwards – the letter, settling right on my doormat.
I lay there for a moment. My breathe strained, my eyes looking upwards as the new day sky was born blue and right. ( I really don't want to get up ) But I did, and saw that letter firmly planted on my doormat.
For a moment – I actually thought I would just leave it there. No one to hold it, or ever open it. Just rot! You blasted evil thing and then no. Eventually the dog would come out here and smell it and ruin it. Or the kids would want to bring it inside for cake.
No! This was my letter now.
So I once again, straddled the letter and lifted. I cringed at it and I think it knew it had me when id forgotten to open the door. But I never close doors all the way so i just kicked! (hahaha) and open sesame street here.. we.. go.
Onto the couch I hurled the cursed course correspondence and I let out a gasp. Then manically I shouted “Now! Now! We will see what foul contents live in your belly, little letter!
I walked straight to the kitchen and grabbed a nice boning knife. Then returned to my living room. To my couch, there in my horror the letter had burrowed itself down into the stuffing. My eyebrows rose in a most unwelcoming manner.
“OH NO YOU DON'T”
I dove into the couch and really for a man in his forties was taken aback by how comfortable cave system this correspondence had created, I could fit my whole body into this couch and we keep going lower. I crawled faster once I got my feet nice and into the springs.
Soon, I was through the couch, through solid earth but I did not slow. The boning knife in my hand was getting hotter, but I did not care. The letter was almost within reach. Even so, it hungerly sank further,
I ... could ... almost .. reach..
GOT IT
I swiftly sliced the envelope.
Silence ..........
An explosion of blue, pink and red glitter erupted from within the envelopes heart and a card fell out. On its face, the card had a smiley face and beneath that was some lovely cursive words.
You Fell For It
Turning my eyes upwards, the card dropped, to the ground.
It was going to be a long climb
back
up.