As blue as indigo
I went to the powerlifting club meeting today, and it was two other people and they both were freshmen benching 3 plates. I ended up leaving kinda early since I just didn't vibe, but that spurred on some feelings I had forgotten about. I remembered how painfully mediocre I am. That toxic flame reignited, as I just got surrounded by that familiar feeling, and I ended up doing every single leg exercise as a drop set. I just kept repeating to myself “how much do you hate me” and that would spur me on to keep doing another rep. When I stand up, I can't move my legs the same but that pain was bliss. The feeling of muscles being ripped and begging to stop is enough to just block out everything else and all that's left is a feeling of ecstacy. That bliss is the reward that I'm chasing.