Bit extinguished
I was pretty emotional earlier today, I don’t even think it was for a necessarily valid reason. I just was upset at S for putting in effort to reach out and connect with others, but not me. It kinda reminded me of E I guess, and so I’ve been somewhat pulling back. I think I should properly talk with my therapist about this and do stuff like CBT, but internally my gut reaction is just that I shouldn’t invest in someone who doesn’t invest in me. I know that I’ll be able to definitely make other friends so I’m not worried about that, but I am just sad and in turmoil about it right now. I shouldn’t think that things are like over or anything like that, this is just so far a self vs self battle. I just wish they put in some effort, otherwise it kinda just feels like all the things they said in the past were things of convenience. Things get pretty grim mentally I guess.