Hello E!
Someone reached out to me on Discord, sending a very sweet message mentioning how they actually read this blog a bit and enjoyed seeing an “honest down-to-earth blog”. It was a real ‘small world’ moment because they saw one of my solutions on Reddit for Advent of Code, and they noticed afterward it was me! It's pretty surreal how things like that happen, especially with how big the internet is, but it was a very cool interaction and something that felt almost like divine intervention to me.
Literally an hour before, I was thinking about my blog while in the shower. I was thinking about how much it’s devolved from the original posts I had, and how low-effort it’s become. I was fairly disappointed in it, and I also constantly have the disparaging feeling that it’s not worth the potential shame or consequence of someone reading it and making fun of this. It’s more or less something I’ve decided I want to show to myself I don’t care about, as I can’t really live a life of fear of my actions – or at least I don’t think that’s a good life. I want to be cringe, do cringe things, and lead the life I think is best in the current moment. This may include making lame videos to post on relatively anonymous social media, writing shit down on this blog, or uploading silly little videos to my youtube channel for (hopefully) no one to see.
I guess it almost feels like I’m being encouraged by God or some higher power to continue down this path of doing stupid shit. I wouldn’t have met a close friend if I didn’t have this blog attached to my discord, and I’ve had a lot of meaningful interactions because of the things I do. I think if I didn’t do anything that I could potentially be shamed for, I would never really be able to connect to anyone anyways. I’m glad I do the things I do. Thank you to the person who sent me that kind message, I really cannot stress enough how happy it made me ♥