I got heated
Just finished AoC for today, and am waiting for a friend to join the call at 2:41 am to play some Valorant lol.
Today I again had my only boundary ignored for the 4th time, and I kinda lost it. It was the second time in my life I’ve ever gotten physically angry (I very aggressively threw away things (dog treats) and punched a bottle of Gatorade across the room.) I ended up just walking out of the house, turned my phone on Do Not Disturb and just walked off into the hills. I found a pretty cool hike/spot! I then went to the gym for 2-3 hours before it got nighttime. And now here I am lol. I haven’t gotten that angry in a long time. I couldn’t help but think about how I feel bad for people with anger issues. That must be horrible to have to deal with.
Situation: Mom disrespected boundary again
Thoughts: Nothing ever changes, she intentionally did this stuff due to her lack of empathy
Feelings: Anger, and like I need to leave now
Behavior: I isolate myself from family more, and lead to a very lonely life around breaks even more.
Thoughts: She is an incredibly immature person, and so she needs more patience and support than a normal person.
Feelings: I feel upset, but more upset like a child you raised making a mistake. I understand a bit more why she’s like this, and that I need to give her more chances to learn.
Behavior: I help her, and don’t fully cut off all family.
God I can’t wait till the next quarter starts, or at least when I can go home.