An Open Letter

Heyo. Maybe being a human is lame as fuck, because you always just bounce from stress to stress. Or maybe living off in a cottage in bumfuck nowhere, you wouldn’t have that problem. I know that the costs of living are instantly apparent, but I never really think about the benefits.

I got temporarily sidetracked because I clicked on a random Discord friend’s name and read through DMS. I last messaged them in 2018, and we apparently used to play several games a ton. I feel weird because I do not know who this person is, but apparently, we played and texted a lot. I wonder if that’s just because I remember nothing then, or if this will be the same in the future. I guess I don’t really remember all of the friends I’ve made in college, but I think I remember the closer ones at least. I saw one of those people today.

Situation: A girl who hits me up to cuddle mentioned how she hates Hash being there, as his breath is bad and he keeps licking.

Thoughts: I don’t know if I can keep Hash outside the room without him freaking out and either going to the bathroom or scratching the door.

Feelings: I feel horribly stressed, and like I can never have anyone come over.

Behavior: I avoid responding to her texts, and probably avoid her as a whole.

Thoughts: This is just another problem that I think will be impossible because I can’t immediately control it. But maybe it’s fine, I can just take him on a long walk before, and then give him his CBD peanut butter and a treat and he’ll probably be fine.

Feelings: Still stressed, but not hopeless.

Behavior: I don’t do any nuclear options.

God, I hate bouncing from one stress to another. This shit doesn’t even matter. Everything will be ok in the end, just please believe that. I think it’s a bit corny to finish every message with some reaffirmation of self-love, so I think I’m going to consciously break that streak so that it means something when I do it. Goodnight me!