On Her (1/?)
So vague posts aside, the person who left this scar’s name is Tonia Wu. I don’t feel bad about putting her name online, because she has no online identity. Maybe that was the first red flag I should have noticed. She was a student at the school I go to, and of all places I met her through reddit. At the time I needed dog sitters to take care of my dog during classes, since at he wasn’t able to be left alone; and she was one of the people who reached out. I remember the first time we met, we were supposed to just see each other to make sure we weren’t serial killers, but we ended up talking for hours. I remember feeling that instant connection, and how good I felt around her.
We ended up becoming fairly close friends very quickly, constantly texting and spending time together, even to the point where she slept in my apartment for two days while she had bed bugs. We had talked about how we are fully platonic friends, so I tried my best to not catch feelings. I offered she could sleep over since I lived alone, and she was a clean freak and hated the idea of sleeping with the bugs. The first night, I slept on my chair while she slept in the bed. The next night, she said it was fine if I also slept in the bed next to her; and I remember feeling nervous being so close to her in my small twin bed. I remember in the morning when I was coming to, I made the leap to hug her, and to my surprise she snuggled into me.
One day on a walk, we were talking about the concept of getting flowers as a gift. I remember telling her how if I ever got flowers, I would cry over how kind it would be. I told her that if I ever got flowers I would treasure them for as long as I could, and it would be a core memory. She then told me that she wanted to give me flowers, but she wouldn’t because now it would become fake since we talked about it. I never told her, but I would have loved flowers from her all the same.
The day she asked me out, I had what I believed was a date, as a girl I had been flirting with was supposed to be coming over and I was going to cook for her. I remember she was at my place and we were talking before then, and she ended up confessing along the lines of “I know we were just supposed to be friends, but I think I like you” and to just reject her so she could get over the feelings before it was too late. I told her I had feelings for her too, and I remember feeling something I had never felt before. We decided we would start going out. Funnily enough, when the girl came over later that day I told her what happened, she told me she didn’t think it was a date.
That started the happiest two months of my life.