Self-shame at my lack of a sleep schedule
I remember thinking yesterday while sitting on the bluffs if you could shame yourself into love. Specifically self-love. My reasoning was because I know that a lot of my motivators in life have been shame, as in hating myself enough to make a change about something. Or at least leveraging that as much as possible as motivation, but with running recently I learned that it isn’t meant to be something agonizing where I tell my mind to ignore it, but something I can continuously enjoy. The problem is that kinda goes against my motivation method of constantly attacking myself in my head telling myself how much I want to change, and how I should be ashamed of who I currently am. I’ve seen people talk about this sentiment online, and I do think you can somewhat shame yourself into the direction of self-love, but eventually you have to learn to have whatever you’re doing be fueled by something sustainable rather than something you’re running from.