Getting Respect
Face it. Kids are tough. Kids come from all different backgrounds and experiences. You’re up in front of a room all by yourself. You think respect is automatic, but this isn’t 1965 anymore. How do you earn it? You might think. You earn respect through kindness, empathy, being an adult, and holding students accountable.
Kindness: It gets a bad reputation. Students might think you’re an easy target. Kindness needs to be paired with boundaries. Let me tell you a few things about kindness though in the classroom. It can heal, ease tension, make learning more enjoyable, and pump positive vibes into your classroom. I’ve seen some of the most challenging students surrender and change due to kindness. Don’t let it fool you or overlook it. Discipline with kindness always. Students will take nothing personal if you do it in a loving, adult-like manner. Kindness is impactful, and every classroom should use this powerful tool. Does it mean you’re soft and pushover? No. Listen—you can be too nice. A person who is too nice without boundaries will not be effective. You want to make sure you have class rules in place and have high expectations of your students. Lastly, kindness is also reciprocal and very karma-like. If you create a kind space for you and your students, you’ll have a great place to help, teach, and cultivate young minds. You will love coming to this job. So be kind with boundaries!
Empathy: Understanding students, their stories, feelings, and having an emotional barometer of your classroom is your job. This job does require a high level of emotional intelligence. Asking students how they are doing, showing concern, offering advice, leading, directing, and being a guide is part of this job. Acknowledging them, their interests, and feelings will go a long way to building lasting rapport with them. It will create the ideal environment to learn. I like to say hello to each student and sometimes walk by their desks when they are writing a “Do Now” to say hello and check-in on them. When I have to discipline students, and when they know you care, who is really going to challenge and test you? Kindness and empathy drive the rapport and create a great learning environment. It also makes disciplining a lot easier. Show them that you understand.
Be an Adult: Face it. Our students are a lot cooler than us. Don’t pretend you’re Cardi-B or Kendrick! They don’t want that. Students want you to act your age. Trying to be cool, dressing like them, and talking like them will only make them lose respect for you. If you’re acting like one of them, you might need to get yourself into therapy. Be an adult. That who is they want you to be! Embrace your inner nerd if you are one. Show this off. Students will get more of a “kick out of you” from you being you. Be authentic. Students will see right through you if you try to act fake or somebody you’re not.
Accountability: When you have the above 3 in place, holding them accountable with a classroom management plan will be so much easier. You’ll deal with fewer outbursts and episodes of misbehavior. Think about it. It’s so much harder to disrespect someone who truly cares about you and has your best interest at heart. If you need to give a teachable consequence to a student, you’ll find that the interaction will be much less stressful for you both. The student won’t be so angry and ready to blame you. And remember, the next day is a brand new day. Hold nothing against them for the previous day’s transgressions. Let it go. Try these ideas out and keep teaching!