Dear Anxious Teacher

Great topic, especially in today’s age where people no longer revere authority figures, including us teachers, as they did in the past. Students today have no problem asking for your phone number, cursing in front of you, or saying something highly suggestive or explicit, making us both uncomfortable. Students scrutinize what we say and may look to manipulate or twist our words for their betterment. Instead of researching evidence for an argumentative essay, students will research to find your social media accounts with an A+. We have all been to that bachelor or bachelorette party, where one of your friends went a little too hard. You wish you could delete the picture where you are the innocent bystander. I’ve heard of the horrors of a teacher being recorded by students. It feels like we are under a microscope. Here is advice on how to maintain and manage professional boundaries:

Be mindful of your language. Labeling groups of students as “they” or “them” can be inflammatory. Believe me, in today’s woke culture, pronoun use and sensitivity to language is at an all-time high. Even if you disagree with my previous statement, schools today lean towards supporting the parent. Just be mindful of statements you make. Swearing and using slang doesn’t make you sound cool, but makes you come across as immature and trying too hard to fit-in. Embrace your inner nerd and act your age.

Be friendly but not friends. Being friendly and kind with students is great for building rapport and establishing comfort in the classroom. You cross a line when you get involved in their social lives, make comments about people they’re dating, and not hold them accountable for misbehavior because you have this more than student-teacher relationship with them. Listen up—students want an adult as a teacher. They want someone caring and loving. Students don’t need an adult-friend that is blurring the lines of unprofessionalism. You most likely will never see these students again. Will they email you one day or visit you at school? Probably not. They might remember you fondly, but you won’t know. You need to stay guarded and protect this boundary. I love my students. Believe me—I’ve received letters, gifts, and been told of winning the most favorite teacher award. In the back of mind, I am just their teacher to help and support them. Remember your role always.

Handle confrontation with maturity: Issues between teachers will arise in your tenure as a teacher. With different pedagogical beliefs and personalities, not everyone is going to be your “cup of tea.” Be assertive, professional, and try to avoid speaking in an angry tone. Never name-call or act immature, because you’ll work with people that might want to take an angry confrontation a step further to a superior. Some people have a “got ya” mentality, so beware of the various personalities in your building. Staying cordial and professional will help keep you out of challenging situations with coworkers.

Be punctual: Arrive on time at the beginning of the day. Be at your class before the bell rings. Don’t leave your co-teachers hanging in a class filled with students. Also, don’t be the first person to leave the building. During my first year, I always spent another 30 minutes cleaning up the classroom, tweaking lesson plans, and getting ready for tomorrow. This makes you look like you care. People often judge behavior.

Dress Professionally: Stick to the dress code policies of your school. I think a man should wear a tie; this definitely communicates a message of professionalism. Don’t dress as nice as the principal. Save the blazer jacket and suspenders for the parent-teacher conference or an open house event. Dressing professionally sends a message that your class is important and to be taken seriously.

Respect Diversity: If you teach in diversity, learn about all the cultures of your students. Learning about different cultures really helps connect students with content and learning. It makes people feel more comfortable and appreciated. Learn about authors, poets, and writers from other cultures. Include culture and diversity into your lesson plans. Attend and celebrate diversity at school and community events. Take a professional development class on multiculturalism. Keep striving to include all your students in your curriculum.

Work/Life Relationships: Making friends and building relationships with coworkers truly makes work fun and something to look forward to each day. Is everyone your friend at work? No. When I didn’t have tenure, people warned me about attending work parties and after-work activities. I never felt comfortable mingling and hanging out with coworkers. Did I go to the happy hours as a younger teacher? Yes. I like my coworkers, but my friend's group largely exists outside of teaching. For me, that’s my comfort level. Do what you feel most comfortable. Just be careful about drinking alcohol and going out for a night with coworkers. People do talk in buildings and gossip spreads quickly. Keep your guard up. I’ve seen and heard of a lot of embarrassing stories. Teachers sometimes judge more on character and likability than actual teaching ability.

Don’t speak badly about colleagues: Unfortunately, teacher gossip and opinions will fly around your building. There might even be teacher clicks and groups that talk about other people. Be friendly with everyone, but sometimes keeping your classroom door closed on a free period is the way to go. Open the window of your class, breathe fresh air, listen to music, or maybe go for a walk outside of your building. Don’t get involved in talking negatively about other people. Word spreads quickly, and you really don’t want stress from your peers at work. If teachers are talking badly about other teachers, they’re probably talking about you as well.

Strong Work Ethic: Working hard and showing that you care through your actions is professional. Putting in extra effort to create improved visual aids or lessons will show that your dedication to this job. I never understood lazy teachers. This is our career and life. Don’t you want to be the best? Are you okay with mediocrity? When you maintain a strong work ethic with high standards, students and teachers will respect your class. People will want to rise to the standard that you’re setting forth. Work hard at work and rest when you’re home. Reputation is everything.

Finally, staying professional at all times is the goal and challenge. Students will try to get “under your skin” or the ornery coworker might look for an argument. Groups and clicks of teachers probably exist in every building. If you follow the above tips, you should be find peace at your job.