Dear Anxious Teacher

It’s the end of the school year, and maybe it's becoming a little long in the tooth. You took this job thinking students would appreciate your efforts and caring attitude; in contrast, you’re dealing with some students who are just out to press your buttons and get under your skin. Accept that you’re not for everyone. Students, especially the challenging ones, will look to get you off your game and will eagerly await for your angry reactions. Don't give it to them. What do you do? You stay calm and controlled. Your behavior or attitude should be confident and unfazed. You then follow through with an actionable consequence with a matter-of-fact attitude. You're not rocked by teens. Discipline with kindness. Discipline without emotion and anger. Sometimes in the throes of classroom management, you wonder if students perceive and respect your kindness and support. “Why am I here” might even cross your mind as you question your sanity. We all just want a positive experience and a calm day, but teaching students can be far from this. I have those days, and you will have those days, too.

It’s coincidental, but the other day I received an email from a former student thanking me for changing her high school trajectory. The email made me smile, and it was a wonderful reminder not to question your contributions to the field. It’s great when people just get you, they see you care, and your job as a teacher is affecting others for the better. We all get jaded. We all hit the “proverbial wall” where we feel defeated. In the end, you need to keep being you. Keep that smile on your face and teach with positivity, especially when dealing with negativity and disrespect from students. The goal is to continue being the rock star teacher you are in the face of these stressors. Your teaching and positive messages matter to students. Students aren’t mature like us where they can thank you and appreciate your efforts. When I think back to middle and high school, I don't remember thanking teachers for their kindness. I remember the positive feelings associated with some of these outstanding teachers. With empathy now, I appreciate the pats on the back and words of encouragement from my former teachers.

Keep going. Sometimes we do things in the shadows. The things that people don’t see or hear. Keep working behind the scenes and keep your positive push going. Don’t take this job personal because you’re dealing with a lot of factors outside of your control. If you can continue being a positive force for good in teaching, you will receive those thank-you letters and gifts. Expect nothing and don’t have hopes about people liking or respecting you. Take each day as a single day and live in that day completely, for the moment is all we ever have. You will be the best teacher on some days, and you’ll have those days where your lesson went south and where you didn’t handle a situation to the best of your ability. If you really desire gratification from others, you really should work on building your confidence. Recognize your accomplishments and your own self-worth. The longer you teacher, the more you realize all of this. Students are lucky to have you. Somebody is noticing. When you think no one cares, somebody cares. You think you’re disconnected, but what you forget is that you’re truly connected to your students. Sometimes thinking too much is the problem. Let each day go and see where the moments take you.

Thinking back on that email received yesterday made me realize I’m doing something positive. The student even mentioned the advice given to her about keeping a small friend’s group and how popularity isn’t everything. I don’t remember these words, or when I said it, but she told me she lives by it. It was probably something said to me from my grandmother growing up. With gratitude, we should all appreciate our supportive figures and their positive messages. Now, we have become the ones helping others. Thanks, Gram :)

To sum it all up, give yourself the compliment and thank you first. Remember your passion, and what you do is difficult. Many people couldn’t be a teacher. Yes, we don’t wear capes, rescue people, or defend our country, but we are doing things “behind the scenes” that are impacting people forever. That’s special. We plant the seeds and create beauty that we may never see. If you put forth beauty and care into yourself, you will eventually be rewarded with appreciation and gratitude from others. Again, expect nothing from others, but I believe gratitude and good karma will come find you. This might be my most favorite blog.