PD Revelation

[Updated: 7/22/20; 9/21/20]

Following on the recent post on emotional surrender, let's look a little further at that idea. I hope coming at it from a few different angles will help fill in a picture of how surrender might feel to someone following the Janice Walton-Hadlock (JWH) protocol.

First, here's a helpful article on the benefits of surrender for anyone, including tips for entering into it.

Note Amy Johnson's observation that “control is rooted in fear.” For anyone on pause that gets to the nub, pause involving a perception, on some level, of a risk of imminent death.

Trust becomes a key feeling in the JWH protocol, trust in the comfort of the “other” (or the universe or higher power for which the “other” may be a representative), trust that the “other” will not mislead you and is keeping you safe.

Johnson submits that “Surrender = Complete acceptance of what is + Faith that all is well, even without my input.”

Note how similar this is to JWH's statement quoted in the prior post on surrender: “The 'surrender' was simply the admission that, no matter what, even if they did nothing in self-defense or self-maintenance, they were actually safe: safe enough to go back to living via the heart.”

The Johnson article provides several worthwhile ideas for helping to enable the experience of surrender. I especially like the imagery of the boat, dropping the oars, and going with the downstream flow. Note the suggestion that surrender means “to stop fighting. Stop fighting with yourself. Stop fighting the universe and the natural flow of things. Stop resisting and pushing against reality.”

This leads to another topic, the Taoist concept wu wei. I'm not sure how precisely wu wei matches emotional surrender of the sort JWH describes. To my mind though, they overlap and are at least complementary ideas. Wu wei can be defined as “letting one's action follow the simple and spontaneous course of nature.” One worthwhile article describes it as “the alignment with the rhythms of the elements both within and outside our bodies. It is a kind of ebb and flow, an effortless surrender to the natural cycles of the world.” Edward Slingerland suggests, “If we have to translate it, wu-wei is probably best rendered as something like “effortless action” or “spontaneous action.” In casual discussions it is often described as “going with the flow.” To really explore the idea is beyond scope of this post, but there is plenty of material online, such as this more detailed article.

Stuck on Pause (2017) contains an anecdote about a recovering patient who perhaps took at least a step toward wu wei, finding a new level of spontaneity in conversation not typical of folks with PD:

“It was so weird!... I found myself just talking! In the past, I’ve always paid attention to what sequence people were talking in ... and carefully selected my words ... and it was always so much work. But this last week, I just said whatever came to mind, and it was easy!”

This all seems related, as well, to observations in JWH's writings such as this in Stuck on Pause: “When energy is flowing through the striatum and thalamus a person feels safe enough to trust something other than his own, wary mind to be in charge.”

With that sort of idea in mind, I've lately been asking the “other” to help me let go of my efforts to control our dialogue, to help me talk spontaneously, with him steering the conversation. I believe the result should be essentially the same as allowing my heart to steer the conversation. It could be seen as well as surrendering to the love of the “other.”

For a possible hint at what the moment of surrender feels like, consider this quote from Eckhart Tolle: “If you suddenly feel very light, clear, and deeply at peace, that is an unmistakable sign that you have truly surrendered” (The Power of Now, 2004). Compare that to what JWH says in Stuck on Pause about the moments after coming off pause: “[Patients coming off pause exhibit] what appears to be a posthypnotic lightness of spirit and body, together with the other 'Where am I?' changes that occur immediately when the pause-inducing command is destroyed.” [1]

Several months ago, shortly before falling asleep one night, I was contemplating feeling grateful for Parkinson's. I suddenly felt a remarkable sense of lightness, which receded, though, after about five seconds. Had I momentarily experienced surrender, or even coming off pause? I think it's possible. Perhaps I was not quite ready for it, and so it receded. At that time the notion of gratefulness for Parkinson's was still relatively new to me. Perhaps its novelty sort of tricked my mind into surrender and/or beginning to turn off pause before the more wary parts of my brain could realize what was happening, sending me back to my prior state. In any event, I take it as an encouraging sign and perhaps a pointer toward things to come!

Have you had experience with surrender? Email me through the contact page and tell me about it!

Update – 7/22/20: Here's another article on surrender that I'd definitely recommend. I know, it's on the Goop website, said by some to be a bit goofy. :–/ But trust me, it's a good article with lots of practical, “how to” content. Interestingly, if I'm reading it correctly, it also seems to suggest surrender can happen gradually rather than always instantly.

Update – 9/22/20: For some nicely articulated statements capturing much of the idea of surrender and wu wei, see this brief interview snippet with Eckhart Tolle.

[1] Note that this is a reference to the instant turning off of pause most often referenced by JWH. It contrasts with more gradual versions she does mention as well.

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“True mystics simply open their souls to the oncoming wave.”
~ Henri Bergson