The life and Legacy of Jhilke Bahadur ( a tribute) :
Today, I thought of you more than usual , only to realize it has been exactly a month since you’ve been gone. A month sans your meows, your cuddles and wet kisses . After 17 years…it all feels empty and lackluster.
Life goes on as it always does. They say grief never fully goes away. I recently read a poem that described this heartbreak being akin to carrying rocks in your pocket . As the days and weeks go by, it feels lighter. However, the grief doesn’t diminish or dissipate , nor do the memories fade … you just grow stronger.
You were there from the first year of marital life (the luxurious pre kid years), the years of grueling training, exams, presentations, sleepless nights , the hopes , dreams and changing career paths . You watched us struggle as new parents and braced yourself as we added more fury family members. You waited for us at the window sill all day and sometimes all night when we worked those 80 hour weeks . You would sleep curled up on my chest or nestled under the curve of my arm . You had us wrapped around your little paws and we fed and played with you on demand. You faced the constant cries of newborns , mischievous toddlers’ antics and yet were so patient and forgiving and still loved on. You were always their favorite! You got us through it all… 8 moves and 4 states, a devastating hurricane, rebuilding our lives when it should have been your peaceful retirement in the sunshine state .
You were my spirit animal / soulmate if there is such a thing. I believe there is. Everyone knew how strong our bond was and fretted at how devastated I would be losing you. It devastated all of us. I will fondly remember your favorite treats of cream cheese , Cheetos , and whipped cream which you begged for 24/7. Murphy and soaltee capitalized on it big time. You never failed to sit smack on the center of the keyboard while we worked on our laptops. Your passionate purrs had healing powers-I am certain of this. You had at least a dozen names of endearment. I never knew animals could be so expressive. We would laugh with wonder when you would sulk and turn your hind side at us due to lack of perceived attention. I will never forget the nights I would cry holding you, burying my sorrow into your comforting softness nor the moments of pure joy dancing with you in my arms . You knew it all…my deepest darkest fears and secrets. Some days I feel sorry for myself and selfishly lament how there is one less being in this world now who loves me. But isn’t it the truth? I loved you dearly too but you knew that already. I told you every day.
I can still clearly visualize your perfectly symmetrical handsome face with those beautiful big green eyes . I still find myself looking for you in your favorite spots throughout the house. You always chose the best spots. I still find myself waiting for your company when everyone is finally asleep . That was our quality uninterrupted time. Now soaltee follows me everywhere.
I sense your presence in soaltee’s purs, in the soft kissable spot behind her ears and in every cat video I devour. This world doesn’t allow us to grieve our pets losses. Nor does everyone understand the invaluable connection pets and humans have. I am grateful that you are no longer suffering . You were our family. Your loss has left a void that will never be filled.
Thank you to the little kitten who stole our hearts , ever so playful and affectionate . You gave us your whole life…. your best years . We couldn’t have chosen a better first fur baby. We just know you are chasing butterflies and will be our forever angel in heaven !