The significance of a cup of tea:
If you saw it, it may look like just an ordinary cup of tea to you. But to me, it means so much more. You know, how in any relationship, especially between spouses, we start developing little , benign, defense mechanisms? Like those lines we use to get out of doing something that we don’t necessarily want to do? I may pretend, for pure example, that I have no clue on how to fix a computer glitch or set up the new TV console. In the same sense, I realize my husband got smart at some point about tea. Yes, tea. We are both Nepali and we love our tea. My dear mother in law brings us bags and bags of our favorite coveted tea from half way around the world when she visits us . I mean, we make do with coffee at times but I have a strong preference for tea. I’m you have seen my posts on social media, you how much I adore my tea.
They say the best meals are those that you don’t have to prepare. Well, the best cup of tea is often the one that you don’t have to make, especially early in the morning. Now don’t get me wrong, my husband and I have our self-designate roles in the house ( although we both have our views and might disagree about who does more, although it should be a no-brainer). I enjoy cooking and baking ( some days more than others). When I am inspired, I enjoy being creative in the kitchen and even involving the kids. The act of brewing tea, to me, is almost a cathartic experience. I have made tea since medical school. My friends used to come over to my dorm room for fresh, piping hot, ginger tea and some giggles, to revive our frazzled minds after a long day of lectures or while we were burning the midnight oil for finals the next day. I rush home from work now to do the same, even though I know I probably shouldn’t be drinking tea that late in the evening, and barely manage a few sips. The thing is, it requires patience as there is no rushing the process but it is all worth it when that magnificent relaxing aroma fills the air. On the weekends , in the mornings and after our daughter naps, I make tea in large mugs and it just gives me a sense of peace and calm. It is my me-time. I feel like I do it more for the process sometimes then for the actual tea. On some days, I find myself heating my cup repetitively because it keeps growing cold and I have rushed around the house thinking of 1 million other things to do.But it is faithful and there when I need it.
Going back to the story, I remember during residency, when we are working 80 hour weeks and newlyweds then, my husband would wake me up with coffee in bed. Sigh! He is much more of a morning person than I will ever be but then again , he has the talent of being able to nap at odd hours of the day. Anyway, that cuppa Joe in it’s warmth and sweetness, is what gave me the much needed fuel I needed to drag myself up and start another grueling day . Little did I realize, then, that those were the golden days . All we had to think about, was ourselves and even with the exhaustion and difficult times during training, somehow, the burdens didn’t seem as heavy and the stakes weren’t so high.
Then, our family grew, kids happened and there was a change in dynamics and a shift in the roles somewhat.Or maybe I just grew up. Over the years, I found myself making ginger tea or “chia”, if you will, and dominating and seizing the majority of the culinary responsibilities. My husband, bless his heart, has a limited menu of what he can (or will?) prepare. I have now become accustomed to his weekend omelettes, on those days that he is not working in the hospital. Unbeknownst to him, I have been cunningly trying to teach him every chance I get, how he too could learn to prepare this wonderful beverage that we both love. That way, I could enjoy it with my breakfast on those special days, as an icing on my cake. I’ve been persistent but it didn’t work for years. However, last weekend something seems to have clicked in his clever mind, as I very emphatically demonstrated the process to him for the nth time. A breakthrough of some sort transpired, I imagine! Fast forward to this weekend, voila! I woke up to amazing, very gingery tea ( because if you know him like I do, you know that he does not do anything half-#%£ or small ) to accompany my scrumptious breakfast.This was smack in time for our 13 th wedding anniversary . I feel compelled to add, that we actually don’t make too much of a fuss for our anniversary since we’ve actually known each other since we were carefree, oblivious teenagers. I praised him as if he had discovered the vaccine for Covid 19. He joked that he may soon conveniently “forget” how to make it and we laughed. I reminded him that there was absolutely no going back now, because a girl’s gotta have her tea!
IG: @rheumiemama