silverdog

As stated on previous posts, i very much believe in power. I don't mean institutional power, or power explicitly stated as a perk of a position in some bureaucratic structure, although these are derivatives of it. I believe that power simply resides in our leverage in a given situation, and that is essentially the boiled down answer. This is a fairly straight-forward and intuitive concept to most, even if it's not articulated or explicitly explained.

The thing that makes this murky to comprehend fully is the sheer scale of different situations in which the concept of power applies. It really is at play everywhere. The way people treat you, the way they act themselves, your opportunities in life, your agency to do what you want to etc.

I have been afflicted with naivety throughout my life. I have always believed, for the most part, that every single person around me had something to bring to the table, and as such, should be strived to be understood. I know that people might have a hard time articulating their motives or their goals, and that they might differ from mine but nevertheless be of value, so i spent a lot of time trying to appease and understand someone even when their actions caused harm or seemed incomprehensible. The trap that i fell into was that people leveraged my inclination to cooperation and goal of understanding against me, and either painted me as a scapegoat if things went wrong, or manipulated me for their own amusement. There is the argument for the fact that i had little discernment in who i spent my time with, and you would be right. In a sense it felt like i was drawn to vile people. And them to me.

The point is that these situations would look very different had i thought about the difference of power in these situations. The times i got hurt badly was the times that i had near zero actionable leverage. I liked to think of myself as someone who wouldn't resort to low blows, or do things like savage anothers reputation and act in good faith. Combined with my curiosity and openness, it seems like you can't deny that these good traits in and of themselves, objectively. Or maybe it's the other way around. In and of themselves alone, these are toxic traits for an individual. What i am working towards is the fact that these are traits that activate and produce value for yourself when you have control of your enviroment. There are few threats in the people around you, and you can expect good faith and cooperation from your surroundings.

However the world really isn't like that. People do things when they feel like they can get away with it. Many might be praying on your downfall, even though they won't say it. Because their investment in bringing you down might backfire catastrophically if they miscalculate. But that's if they go all the way. Maybe a little nudge here and there might go relatively undetected by those around you, yet felt by you? Maybe it's just enough to alter your path slightly, in their favour.

What was striking to me was how prevalent these people are in our world. Let's now remember that i have been powerless yet seeking in my life, so i would be a magnet for those looking to use people for their own gain. I would attract the worst of people, and bring out the worst in them, with them knowing that there is no leverage in this person to punish them for their degeneracy. Someone else might've carried themselves differently, and call out bad behaviour in a way that makes these people show themselves from a better angle and give off less bad behaviour. There is definetely a bias here from my part. But they exist. Maybe they won't show it to you, because you have not been in a situation where it can be shown, but it's lurking there.

They are leveraging their positions against someone who are unwilling to walk from the table. They are kind of bluffing, fronting as someone willing to go all the way. That's very costly if everyone they met checked them on it, and went all the way. As a matter of fact, it's unsustainable. That's why they pick their targets carefully. Even fronting to everyone that you are willing to go all the way, all the time, might attract unwanted attention or repell relations, which is why they only reveal their willingness to burn the bridge when they are assured that you aren't. When they can walk away but you can't, they truly hold all the cards. They've cemented their position on top, and you are in their circle.

Since it's an instinct for some people, it's selected for sexually. This means that it's presence in the gene pool and human enviroment is very much a viable strategy. This isn't necessary a calculated evil, although it might be that in addition. It's understanding your position, and leveraging your position to the max. The most return for the least input.