On Time-Travel
In practice, everything gets pushed back by 30 minutes, give or take. That's why flights at SFO are always 15 minutes early or 15 minutes late.
The people that were supposed to be there are confused on how the time changed and the people visiting are mildly inconvenienced, but that's usually par for the course for a comedy show, in my most pointed experience.
I performed a set last week. I wrote my set that morning, published it on my website, and the show started at 8pm instead of 7:30.
I started the cameras early and in the background we hear Allan kick a guy out of the bar. I recorded the full show because I was collecting test data for 3 camera live comedy untethered.
The man cried blasphemy and that his cross was for Jesus Christ. He was in a red beret, the cross was iron, and he had a metal storage clipboard that just shouted papers please— but that might have just been energy of his military dress uniform from I don't know which country or which era.
I did my set that night entirely from my phone and I stuck to the bit I prepared, because if there's anything I know about time-travelers, I know I'm not alone. And if my set was important enough to boop a timeline for, I better just do it.
And the benefit of being a bard is that all the heavy lifting is done for me. I just read my lines from my phone. I didn't even need to fight the guy to win the encounter.
I needed to go to the bathroom before the show. But the hallway was crowded and I stopped short. I don't even know if this guy knows he was looking for me in particular or just “the guy in the bathroom” because that's usually how a time-hit takes place.
No names, no identities.
I'm shy and awkward, despite performing comedy and being the most outgoing introverted person. So I didn't want to bother anybody by squeezing by to make it to the bathroom.
I figured I'd wait. And that's when I first made eye contact with this guy— before I turned on the cameras. He came up the stairs and he was sweating like he was running late for a 7:30 appointment.
I gave him an nod like, “welcome to the show”, but I quickly went back to reading over my lines, even though this dude felt a little out of place. Anyway, he made moves towards the bathroom.
That's around when I started the cameras and since the show was running late anyways, I had time to use the bathrooms downstairs, so I went down the front.
I came back up from the back and the bar owner I'm friends with that's a cyber security professional was escorting the down the front stairs.
A time traveler then a nazi walk into a bar. The time traveler walks in again and the nazi is banned. Sorry for the delay, but the last 30 minutes have been a trip, welcome to the show and please give a round of applause to Allan for being a firewall.