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"And here before you, is the brightest lamp in the world,” the guide whispered.
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“Are you saying that even when it comes to revenge, you’re just that much more...
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“So would you rather have the last thing you see on this earth be an Excel...
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"Only I can save you from that other dude that convinced you that only he could...
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\Ding dong\
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"Baaa! I beat my lip!" The toddler screamed, her open mouth filled with halfway...
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"Well, death is nothing but another journey," the man said, staring at the...
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"So, how may I help you today?" the manager asked.
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"Dinner is ready!" mom shouted from the kitchen.
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A priest, a rabbi and a giraffe enter a bar.
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"Last week I noticed a weird lump under my armpit."
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"Who would've thought your kind would outlive mine?
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The five o'clock alarm rang.
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"Daddy, where do people go after they die?"
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"May I have the time?"
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"You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."
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"Welcome to earth's favorite talk show! I'm your host Orion Vega and tonight we...
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"Your honor, members of the jury, please consider the following." The lawyer...
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"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you're near?
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"We made a vow goddammit! We would be together until death did us apart."