About
dark encircled eyes
blinking validly at me
flickers of ember are all that is left
of the raging fire that once resided in my soul
dying spark...
smoke,
relinquish control
when did this happen?
i remember
i remember
i gave in, i played the game,
i got married
changed my name
brought children
magical little three
i did exactly what they told me.
i finished school,
got a degree
one wasn’t enough,
went for a doctorate in philosophy
worked on my marriage
for the greater good of the whole
lost myself in the process,
depleted soul
keep going, keep going
chanting metal in my head
what for
what for
most days I feel dead
inside, it’s dull, lackluster, and hopeless
forsaken thoughts,
once my mind an impenetrable fortress
mothering perfection
barely good enough at best
can’t keep up,
and yet too exhausted to rest
empty empty
pointless conversations
menial existence,
steppingstone
excavation
but every day, living with awareness of dying
“break the mold,” she whispers
“nah”, i answer,
owned by them, forever complying
what would it take
what would it take
to oscillate in rhythm to an expansive harmonic motion?
skipping across to find the one that aligns best,
abundantly expansive commotion
organized chaotic rhythm,
sound becoming time
pressure, pressure to move
time jump,
leave this frequency behind
too fast,
too slow
no guidance on the navigation
or on how and where to go
so i move forward and forward
without looking back,
luggage in hand,
where i go, i take you with
stop lagging
get on my back
#shittypoetry #frequency #timehop #spiralout
©innerWorkings2024