lies || August 23
Didn’t write for two days. Not because I was dying or enlightened or busy building an empire. Just because I didn’t feel like it, and that’s the great secret no one wants to admit, sometimes you don’t do shit because you don’t want to, and that’s enough of a reason. But people always want excuses, pretty ones with bows, like “oh I was busy” or “I was healing” or “I was in Bali doing yoga on a goat.” No. I was here, staring at walls, opening the fridge like maybe it’d grow a new personality since last time. it didn’t.
I don’t know why people are obsessed with pretending they figured it out. Everyone you meet has this script ready “I’m busy, I’m building something, I’m working on myself.” Working on yourself for what? To die shinier? To upload a neater highlight reel? Nobody’s buying it anyway.
We don’t really want truth, we want packaging. You put the same miserable life into a clean Instagram filter, and people clap for you. Add a motivational caption and suddenly you’re “inspiring.” It’s hilarious. You can be a wreck in real life, but if you add enough fake deep words online, someone will tag you as “goals.” we know it’s fake. Everyone knows. But we still buy it, because god forbid we admit life is mostly empty space. Long hours. Dumb routines. Half the time we’re just trying to fill the silence so it doesn’t eat us alive.
here is something raw you'd need to hear : people are lonely, bored, and pretending. Some distract themselves with money, some with drama, some with food, some with work. Doesn’t matter. Same game, different addiction.
But maybe that’s not even the problem. Maybe that’s the design. Maybe it’s not about “solving” it at all, it’s just about being conscious while you play along. Like fine, I’ll do my little routines, but I’m not going to lie to myself about it.
Because at the end, it’s not about finding meaning. It’s about staying awake enough to not drown in the noise.
im hungry
sincerely
Ahmed